World/Crisp Handshake Diplomacy
German Chancellor Merz Visits Kyiv Amid Russia’s Escalating Strikes
Friedrich Merz lands in Kyiv as Moscow steps up missile and drone attacks on Ukrainian cities.
World.
Wars, heat, and everyone else’s fucking mess.
World/Aussie Gap Year Jihad
Flydubai’s Axe‑Wielding Co‑pilot Spent Years in Australia on a Student Visa
After the Omani co‑pilot allegedly plunged a plane 16,625 feet in a mid‑air stabbing spree, Australian agencies are digging into his old LinkedIn profile to see how their screening missed a pilot already barred for extremist views.
World/Propaganda Fart Cloud
Houthi Missile Claim on Riyadh Aramco Facility Sparks Saudi Coalition Counter‑Attack
The Houthis say they struck an Aramco site in Riyadh; the Saudi‑led coalition calls the claim “misleading” and says its forces carried out 97 precise targeting operations that disabled 44 vehicles and hit about 260 fighters.
World/Chlorine Clowns
Two Iranian nationals remanded over alleged antisemitic terror plot in Manchester
Court hears the pair, who arrived by small boat, were instructed by an Iranian contact to make a homemade bomb from chlorine and brake fluid.
World/Geopolitical Posturing
Algeria’s President Says Fighter Jets Were Sent to Niger Amid Coup Attempt
President Abdelmadjid Tebboune says Algeria deployed four Sukhoi Su‑30 jets to Niger after mutineers attacked Niamey, but the timing raises questions about the operation’s impact.
World/Petro-Pissing Contest
Ukraine Promises More Oil Strikes as Russia Bombs Kyiv Bridges in Dick-Measuring Escalation.
Zelenskyy swears to torch the other guy's gas station, because he's not the one who fights like a cunt.
World/Monarch's Meat Puppet
Morocco Appoints First Female Prime Minister, Immediately Asks Her to Bring the Snacks
Fatima Zahra Mansouri gets the top job just in time to coordinate World Cup port-a-potties while the king holds the actual power and her party's big plan for women is a three-point pamphlet.
World/Terrorist IKEA Flat-Pack
Iranian Regime's DIY Apocalypse Squad Bombs Out at B&Q
Two asylum-seeking Iranian nationals charged with trying to build a bomb for a Yom Kippur attack in Manchester, proving the Islamic Republic's foreign policy is just a shopping list for hardware-store jihad.
World/Security Theater
Flydubai Hired Co‑pilot Banned by Oman for Extremist Views, Who Then Stabbed Captain Mid‑flight
A Flydubai co‑pilot, barred from flying in Oman over alleged extremist views, stabbed the captain during Flight 1073 from Dubai to Tel Aviv.
World/Paid Pain Delivery
Trump's Refugee Flights Land in a $7.5 Million Torture Taxi Service
Admin bypasses courts and lies to protected refugees, buying one-way tickets to a corrupt dictatorship where beatings are part of the package deal funded by your taxes.
World/FART FOR FREEDOM
G7 Nations, Led by Trump and Macron, Announce Immediate Diesel Release
The G7 will release 100 million barrels of oil in the coming weeks, front‑loading diesel to curb record U.S. prices.
World/Pay‑to‑Play Patriotism
Argentina Puts a For‑Sale Sign on Its Passport for the Price of a Fancy House
In a desperate bid for cash, the Milei government lets foreigners buy citizenship for a cool $350,000, proving national pride is just another asset to be liquidated.
World/A DYNASTY OF DICKHEADS
Flávio Bolsonaro, the Family's Fucking Spare Part, Wants to Be President
The Brazilian senator launched his campaign by comparing himself to Pelé's son, a confession that his entire platform is being a shittier, cheaper version of a coup‑plotting father who's currently in prison.
World/I WAS JUST BEGINNING MY LIFE
Jordan Bardella's Alibi for the Alleged Antisemitic DMs: He Was Only Just Beginning His Life
Mediapart has screenshots, a court bailiff's certification, and Meta authentication. Bardella has "crude fabrications" and the excuse that at 17 he was barely alive. Then his inner circle goes one better: he "has always stood for the same things," which, given the alleged messages, is the most damning defense imaginable.
World/Too Little, Too Fucking Late
Ramaphosa Bends Asshole, Announces 60-Day Plan To Think About Not Murdering Women
President promises to review unsolved murders and fix streetlights while begging 'good men' to maybe say something if they see a colleague raping.
World/THE MINISTRY OF MAKE-BELIEVE
Man Invented a Fake Government Agency and Nigeria Gave Him an Office, Bank Accounts, and a Budget Line
Adeniyi Adeyemi ran the Presidential Foreign Intervention Promotion Council for the better part of a year. The only problem: it did not exist. The bigger problem: it took a rival agency complaining before anyone checked.
World/State-Sanctioned Dickheadery
WA Cops Tell Protesters to Get Fucked, Then Offer to Fuck Them Even Harder
Using a brand-new law, police have banned over a dozen activists from a huge weapons fair's security zone, threatening massive fines and prison for anyone who dares to think about peace.
World/Ethical Headache
Royal College of Nursing Cuts Ties With Teva UK Over Legal Sanctions
The nursing union ends its commercial partnership with the Israeli‑linked drug maker after due‑diligence revealed multiple legal sanctions and settlements.
World/Fascist Fanboy Flop
Kanye West’s Russian Concerts Cancelled After Ministry’s Objection
Russia’s foreign ministry said Ye’s “Heil Hitler” song and swastika merch made his sold‑out St. Petersburg shows unacceptable, prompting the promoter to pull the plug.
World/Third-Country Human Dump
Burundi Signs Up for Trump's Migrant Dumping Ground
President's spokesperson says only non-criminals or terrorists allowed while prepping beds and citizenship paths with zero numbers or payments disclosed
World/Ambulance Full of Clowns
Bolivia Bags Its Own Top Prosecutor in Drug Case So Stupid It Could Only Be Real
Attorney General Roger Mariaca and 13 pals were collared for allegedly running a protection racket for cartels, with the government citing an ambulance stuffed with cash and a freed trafficker as evidence of a legal system that had become a fucking joke.
World/Statistical Clown Show
Mexico's First Female President Marks Two Years with Mixed Gains and Ongoing Crises
Claudia Sheinbaum’s administration touts a sharp homicide decline but faces soaring disappearances, rising femicide and a surge in kidnappings, while navigating U.S. pressure and a stubborn corruption problem.
World/Battery‑Powered Brainlessness
NSW Government Crushes 23 E‑Bikes in First Enforcement Under New Laws
Twenty‑three illegal e‑bikes were shredded in western Sydney as authorities begin to enforce recently introduced speed and power limits.
World/Ignorance is Bling
Supermodel Too Fucking Rich to Notice Her Own Charity's Spa Bill
Tribunal lets Naomi Campbell off the hook for Fashion for Relief's luxury spending, blaming it all on a rogue lawyer who allegedly forged her signature and sent emails from a fake address. The charity's accounts were still a shitshow.