Politics/Mean Girls Summit
Trump Pentagon Hosts 'Cool Kids' NATO Summit, Excludes UK, France, and Baltics
The Pentagon's policy dickhead picks his new besties, leaving old allies to wonder who pissed in the NATO coffee pot.
Politics.
Power, money, and the lying fucks who think you won’t notice.
Politics/Pathetic PSA
Dems Demand Probe Into Trump's Taxpayer-Funded 'Love Me' Beg-A-Thon
Lawmakers ask watchdogs to investigate government ads featuring Trump's face and pleading lyrics as illegal pre-election propaganda, rejecting White House claims they are 'educational.'
Politics/NOT MASSIVE
The massive migrant caravan is about 600 people in southern Mexico. The White House already said they are not getting in.
Fe y Esperanza, Faith and Hope, left San Pedro Sula on Sept. 20. By the time it walked out of Tapachula, counters had it between about 400 and just over 600. The White House says the border is closed. August arrests were 8,870, and Border Patrol has released nobody for 16 months.
Politics/Pasteurized Enforcement
This Unlicensed Goat-Milk Grifter Put Two Kids in Intensive Care, So California's Regulators Became Her Business Consultants
Courtney Baker's raw goat milk sent a 17-month-old onto a ventilator and a 6-year-old into blood transfusions. The state had her texts proving she knew toddlers were drinking it. So they gave her a warning, tested a jug she poured herself, then helped her file the paperwork to sell the same shit as 'pet food.'
Politics/Propaganda on Your Dime
Trump's War Ad Is a Taxpayer-Funded Circle Jerk
A one-minute government commercial, airing on Fox News, splices the President's declaration of combat with Pete Hegseth's murder threats into a campaign spot you paid for.
Politics/Toddler‑Terrorizing Policy
Trump's Childcare Clowns Write a New Chapter in 'How to Fuck Everything Up
A letter from six senators details how administration cuts and HHS freezes have closed over 700 centers and hiked costs, while a $2.4 billion grant freeze was reversed only after lawsuits.
Politics/Tower of Babble
FAA Hires a Bunch of Kids to Play with the Radios, Hopes This Fixes Everything
The agency hired 2,235 air traffic controller trainees, a record high, after years of warnings about being chronically understaffed. They are still 1,536 certified controllers short of their goal, but hey, they're calling it a win.
Politics/Pre-Recess Panic Piss
Senate Rushes to Install a Warm Bench Body as Labor Secretary Before They All Fuck Off to Beg for Votes
In a move that reeks of legislative incontinence, a nearly empty chamber shat out a 47-41 confirmation for career bureaucrat Keith Sonderling, ensuring the department has a nominally breathing boss while everyone runs home to save their own asses.
Politics/Crybaby Confederacy
Alabama, Arkansas, Louisiana to Supreme Court: Make Our Bans Everyone's Problem
Three GOP states, pissed their own draconian bans stop at the border, directly sue California, Massachusetts, and New York for daring to let their own doctors help people elsewhere.
Politics/Marital Deflation
Kristi Noem Files for Divorce After Husband’s Prosthetic Tits Prove Irreconcilable With Reality
Citing irreconcilable differences, namely his decision to become a walking, breathing Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade float for horny clowns.
Politics/PROJECTION AT A PREMIUM
Trump Demands a Fed Head for a $2.4 Billion Renovation He Didn't Fuck Up, While His Own $200 Million Ballroom Is a Money Sink
The Fed's inspector general found no crime or misconduct by Jerome Powell in the headquarters' cost overruns, just shitty management. So Trump posted that Powell should be sued for 'corruption or incompetence' and resign. Meanwhile, Trump's White House ballroom has already blown past its $200 million budget with no fucking clue who's paying.
Politics/A Slow Handjob
Operation Purgatory is just Magyar jerking off while his country waits for justice
Prime Minister Peter Magyar promised to incinerate Viktor Orban's graft machine, but his big crackdown has produced two whole arrests after months of summoning nobodies and setting up a fucking paperweight agency.
Politics/Diplomatic Dick‑Swinging
Rubio Tells Iranian Diplomats to Get the Fuck Out of Town
After talks stalled, Marco Rubio reportedly told Iran's Foreign Minister and his UN delegation to pack their shit and leave New York early, a move Iran's team says never fucking happened.
Politics/Pissing Up a Red Rope
Trump and Vance's 'Shore Up' Tour Is a Pathetic, Fucking Parade in the Ass-End of Nowhere
The GOP's top-tier talent, allegedly too scared to face actual voters, are barnstorming the deepest, reddest shitholes they can find, in a desperate, last-ditch wank to pretend their flailing candidates have a pulse.
Politics/Arithmetic for Assholes
Romanian Parliament Proves 182 Is a Smaller Number Than 233, Shocking Nation of Toddlers
Lawmakers rejected a new government by a margin so wide it suggests they've forgotten how to count, leaving the country to be run by the ghost of a dead coalition and the faint smell of cowardly piss.
Politics/Sacred Corruption
Ken Paxton’s Senate Run Is a Holy Shit-Shield for His Rap Sheet of Bribes and Federal Crimes
The impeached Texas AG, now a Senate candidate, is using a Christian nationalist crusade as a distraction from the 20 articles of impeachment, bribery-for-renovations scandal, and felony fraud indictment he dodged with a plea deal.
Politics/Gridlocked Grifters
Democrats Decide 'Ratepayer Protection' Means Protecting Tech's Right to Fuck Your Bill
Senate Democrats killed a bipartisan bill to stop datacenters from shoving their multi-billion-dollar power grid costs onto households, calling the measure 'toothless' while offering exactly zero teeth of their own as an alternative.
Politics/Fucking Statistically Irrelevant
Justice Department Indicts Ten Minnesotans Over Noncitizen Voting Claims
The DOJ, led by Attorney General Todd Blanche and Homeland Security Secretary Markwayne Mullin, announced ten new indictments in Minnesota for alleged noncitizen voting violations.
Politics/Cavalcade of Dipshits
Elon Musk, the Guy Who Can't Even Lead Doge, Is Now in Charge of War
The Defense Department, apparently fresh out of sober adults, has appointed the world's richest manbaby and two other clowns to figure out how America should fight the next big one.
Politics/The check cleared
Trump’s legal team finally finds the 'withdraw' button on a $5.8 million fucking bill
After every court told him to get fucked, Donald Trump’s lawyers formally surrendered the appeal of the E. Jean Carroll verdict, letting her collect the cash with interest while he whined about witch hunts.
Politics/Pipeline of Bullshit
Trump's $54 Billion Alaskan Gas Project Is Just a Re-election Erection
With his polls in the toilet, the president jerks off another imaginary foreign investment to help a flailing GOP senator, claiming his trade deal made it all possible.
Politics/Architectural Anarchy
The Fed's $2.4 Billion 'What's a Budget?' Remodel
Watchdog report confirms the nation's economic brain trust renovated two buildings by setting a pile of money on fire and forgetting to check the price tag, a masterclass in legalized incompetence.
Politics/WRONG LIST
The big beautiful bill dumps 5,900 Colorado refugees and Afghan allies off Medicaid. The undocumented never had it.
Health First Colorado ends full coverage Oct. 1 for refugees, asylees, parolees, trafficking victims, and Canadian-born tribal members. The state guessed 5,000, then said 5,900. Green cards that cleared the five-year rule stay. Undocumented adults were already ineligible.
Politics/Regulatory Handjob
Trump's $20 Million Taxpayer-Funded Campaign Ad Is Just a Public Service Announcement, Says Trump's FCC Appointee
FCC Chair Brendan Carr, installed by Trump, dismisses need to review DHS-funded TV spots featuring the president promising a 'final battle,' as the musician whose song was used without permission begs them to stop.