The facts
The debate over making Daylight Saving Time permanent has resurfaced, with President Donald Trump publicly pressuring Senator Tom Cotton, R-Ark., to support the "Sunshine Protection Act." Trump shared Cotton's phone number on social media, stating that "almost everybody wants" the bill to pass and calling it a "GREAT Bipartisan WIN." Cotton, however, has voiced opposition, warning that Congress has enacted permanent Daylight Saving Time multiple times before, only to repeal it due to public dissatisfaction with late winter sunrises. He stated, "Arkansans don’t want their kids going to school in the pitch dark, and I’ll always put Arkansas first." This issue has divided lawmakers geographically, with some senators from western and landlocked states expressing concerns about early darkness for children commuting to school. Senators like Rick Scott, R-Fla., and Patty Murray, D-Wash., have supported the bill, while others, such as Steve Daines, R-Mont., and Mike Rounds, R-S.D., have raised objections. Senate leaders acknowledge the complexity of the vote, noting that it depends on regional impacts. Pressing legislative matters, including defense funding and government spending battles, are likely to take precedence over the Daylight Saving Time bill in the Senate.
Our take
Donald Trump, a man whose entire personal history is a monument to avoiding accountability, has decided the nation’s most pressing issue is getting more afternoon golf time. The orange grifter took to his shit-stained social media platform to dox a sitting U.S. senator, posting Tom Cotton’s phone number like a petulant teen ordering a swatting. His demand? Force through a bill for permanent Daylight Saving Time because ‘almost everybody wants it,’ a polling method he likely learned by feeling the wind change direction in his asshole. It’s a ‘GREAT Bipartisan WIN,’ he shrieked, proving he still thinks governance is a reality show season finale where you just slap your name on a steak and call it a deal. What a pathetic, desperate cunt. He’s like a human cuckoo clock, popping out on the hour to squawk one senile, self-serving idea before vanishing back into a cloud of legal filings and spray tan mist. The fact that this bloated, failing fuck sees ‘eternal sunshine’ as a legacy project is the most on-brand dementia he’s ever displayed. Of course, Senator Tom Cotton - a man whose spine is usually a gelatinous puddle - found one to tell the former president to piss up a rope. Cotton actually cited history, you know, that thing Trump tries to burn and rewrite daily, noting that every time Congress has tried this before, the public revolted because kids had to go to school in the fucking dark. ‘Arkansans don’t want their kids going to school in the pitch dark,’ Cotton said, putting ‘Arkansas first’ instead of Trump’s flaccid dick, which must have been a novel experience for him. So the ‘Sunshine Protection Act’ is now just another piece of Trump-branded bullshit moldering on the Senate floor, right next to his infrastructure week and his dignity. The debate is geographically split, with senators from places that actually experience winter pointing out this is a catastrophically stupid idea, while Florida Man Rick Scott and others from permanently confused states are all for it. It’s a perfect metaphor: Trump’s entire existence is a demand for permanent, artificial daylight to hide the rotting, dark chaos underneath, and the adults - for once - told him to turn the fucking lights off and go to bed.
