The facts
At a rally in Grand Island, Nebraska, Donald Trump told supporters that Iran could “take out” Los Angeles and San Diego, adding that high gas prices from the war with Iran were a “small price to pay” for keeping the country safe. California Governor Gavin Newsom called the comments “deranged and dangerous” on X, saying the president was advocating an attack on more than 10 million residents. Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass called the remarks “irresponsible threats” that could compromise the city’s safety. San Diego Mayor Todd Gloria wrote on X that his city is not “collateral damage” or “expendable.” The Guardian noted U.S. defence officials have said Iran lacks the capability to launch a direct missile attack on the U.S. mainland. Some conservative activists argued Trump was referring to gas prices, not an actual Iranian strike.
Our take
Of course the bloated, spray-tanned cunt picks Los Angeles and San Diego. Not because he gives a single, solitary shit about the ten million people who live there, but because they’re big, shiny, Democrat-run trophies he can dangle in front of a Nebraska crowd like a cheap piece of meat. He’s not making a policy point, you absolute fucking morons. He’s playing a game of geopolitical chicken where the other driver isn’t even on the same continent and the car is a fucking bicycle. He stands there in Grand Island, a place whose biggest threat is probably a rogue combine harvester, and casually suggests a foreign power could wipe two of America’s largest cities off the map. It’s the rhetorical equivalent of a toddler threatening to smash his brother’s favorite toys because mommy won’t give him more candy.
The punchline, the truly galaxy-brained part of this whole shitshow, is his price tag. The potential annihilation of millions is a “small price to pay.” For what? For keeping the country safe? No, you dickhead. For lower gas prices. He’s literally putting a per-gallon discount on human extinction. He’s running a BOGO deal where you get cheaper unleaded and a side of smoldering coastal ruin. It’s the most psychopathic cost-benefit analysis ever uttered by a human being who wasn’t a cartoon villain. The sheer, unadulterated vanity of it - he thinks his cult’s pain at the pump is worth more than the entire population of San Diego. They’re not people; they’re just inconvenient blue-state scenery that’s blocking his path to looking strong.
Naturally, his bootlicking sycophants immediately started pissing their pants trying to clean up the mess. He was talking metaphorically about gas prices! they squealed, as if suggesting a literal foreign strike is just a fun new way to discuss petroleum economics. Meanwhile, the actual fucking Pentagon has been saying for years that Iran doesn’t have the capability to hit the mainland U.S. with missiles. So Trump isn’t just offering up cities as sacrificial lambs; he’s offering up cities to a wolf that lives on the other side of the world and hasn’t figured out how to swim. He’s creating a fake threat so he can pose as the brave hero who’s willing to let it happen. It’s security theater written by a fucking imbecile who thinks ‘The Apprentice’ was a documentary about geopolitics.
So now the mayors of LA and San Diego have to waste their time doing damage control on a threat that is both monstrous and physically impossible, because the former president is a senile old bastard who gets his rocks off by watching coastal elites squirm. Gavin Newsom calls it “deranged and dangerous,” which is the political equivalent of calling a shit-flinging gorilla ‘messy.’ Karen Bass says it compromises city safety, which is like saying a arsonist yelling ‘fire’ in a crowded theatre might cause a bit of a stir. They’re all stuck responding to the incoherent ramblings of a man who treats the presidency like a open mic night at a treason-themed comedy club. The only thing more pathetic than Trump’s bloodthirsty fantasy is the fact that a significant portion of this country will hear him casually write off ten million of their fellow citizens and think, ‘Yeah, that makes sense. My truck’s been running a little rough.’
