Politics/Bullshit Bonanza
Farage's £5m 'Security Fee' Revealed as Bullshit Brexit Bonus
Undercover footage exposes aide admitting Farage's 'reward for Brexit' story was a fucking lie, as the 'security' cover story collapses like a cheap suit.
Older stories.
Still true, still filthy. Page 4 of the back catalog, newest first.
Politics/COHESION DELAYERS
Energy Secretary’s Own Website Posts Damning Critique of Cruel Migration Policy, Then Claims It Was ‘Paraphrased’
Miatta Fahnbulleh’s constituency site said her colleague’s plan to make people wait decades to belong would ‘prolong cohesion.’ Her office’s fix was to delete the truth.
Politics/Racist Funhouse Mirror
Trump Turns French Fuel Protests into a Migrant‑Jihadist‑Communist Horror Show
At a Kansas rally, the former president weaponized France’s fuel‑price riots as a warning‑sign for America, dubbing the unrest a migrant‑driven apocalypse.
World/Boot Lifted, Sort Of
After Orbán's Dickhead Dictatorship Died, Hungarian Journalists Find They Can Breathe Without a State Boot on Their Windpipe
New PM Péter Magyar's government has started tearing down the old cunt's media control apparatus, but some reporters note the fresh bullshit still smells like government secrets.
Business/AI-Powered Bloodbath
NAB to Slaughter 2,500 Paychecks Because Robots Are Fucking Coming
Bank blames 'challenging economy' and 'technology' for cutting 6% of its human staff, promises the remaining serfs will get to do even more work for free.
World/Invest in This, Assholes
Saudi Arabia's 'Davos in the Desert' Scrambles Back Into Its Sand Hole
The kingdom's premier grifter jamboree is postponed until 2027 because the Houthis keep blowing shit up, forcing Riyadh's finest to work in their pajamas.
Tech/AI-Painted Shithouse
China's Economy Posts 4.5% Growth, Powered Entirely by Your Fucking Smart Toaster
National Bureau of Statistics touts export-driven GDP beat while domestic investment and property markets shit the bed.
Tech/Sinophobic Shitfit
U.S. Bans Chinese AI Firm DeepSeek from Government Systems
Homeland Security orders purge of popular, cheap Chinese AI models from civilian agencies, citing unspecified security fears and ongoing tech rivalry.
Politics/Rose Garden Renovations Meet Health Policy
Trump Unveils Women's Health Task Force Amid Rose Garden Stone Talk
President Donald Trump signs an executive order creating a new NIH division and a White House task force on women's health, with first lady Melania Trump front‑and‑center.
World/Diplomatic Dumbfuckery
Dick-Measuring Contest Disguised As Diplomacy Erupts At UN
In a stunning display of geopolitical performance art, the U.S. and Cuba spent a day yelling at each other about a vote that never changes anything.
Politics/Moonshine Mandates
Supreme Court Takes Up Case to Decide If Your Kitchen Can Legally Become a Bathtub Gin Factory
Justices to ponder whether 1868 law banning home stills is a 'crucial' tax measure or just the federal government being a colossal buzzkill.
Politics/POVERTY JIHAD
Judge Locks Up Mall Jihadist Who Couldn't Even Afford His Own Fucking AK-47
An FBI sting caught an 18-year-old who downgraded his terror ambitions from Somalia to a Hmong arts festival because he was too broke for plane tickets.
Sports/Profit‑Taking Pricks
Orioles Owner’s Profit Admission Undermines MLB Lockout Argument
David Rubenstein said baseball teams are making more money than private‑equity firms, a point that undercuts owners’ push for a salary‑cap lockout.
Sports/Import/Export Wanker
Kiwi Coach Says English Cricket Should Be Run By Someone Who Isn't Him, Obviously
Stephen Fleming, the latest foreigner to take the England job, immediately declares the whole arrangement is bollocks.
Tech/Genetic Grifters Get Away
23andMe Sells Your Family Jewels for Spare Change, Pisses on California's Lawsuit for Good Measure
After losing a court fight to stop the fire sale of your DNA, the Golden State settles for a paltry $6 million from the bankrupt genetic grifters, who already promised $46.75 million to victims they created. The non-profit buying the wreckage is run by the company's own co-founder, because of course it is.
Science/Astronomical Dick-Measuring
Japan Spends Half a Billion to Poke a Potato in Space
JAXA’s new mission to Mars’ moons will spend five years and $578 million trying to land on a lump of rock, because their last attempt to get to Mars fucking failed.
World/Bedtime for Bonapartes
France Imposes Curfews After Riots as Police Admit They Lost Control in Some Cities
Overnight curfews now cover parts of Paris and several other French cities after weekend riots left more than 2,500 arrested and about 1,000 officers injured.
Politics/Fly Me to the Polls
Mike Rogers Flies High on Donor Dime, Fixes Beamer on the Side
The Senate hopeful blew six figures on private jets and swanky rides last quarter, with a little BMW tune-up thrown in for his deputy's personal whip, all while his opponent flew coach.
Sports/Money, Medals, Molestation
A Decade of Dickheads: Judge Aquilina Says Gymnastics Still Puts Medals Over Human Fucking Beings
Rosemarie Aquilina, the judge who put Larry Nassar in the ground, returns to find the sport's governing cunts still haven't learned a goddamn thing.
Business/ANTI-TRUST DAYCARE
FTC Treats $2.2 Billion Deal Like a Kindergartner Who Can't Share
Regulators must order corporate giant to not be a greedy, data-hoarding dickhead after buying the company it needs to compete.
Politics/Fucking Clown Show
Hawley Flunky Flees After Getting His Own Bullshit Question Turned Back on Him
Records confirm the 'Tommy' who asked a gotcha question about the Muslim Brotherhood at a Michigan town hall was Thomas Teepell, a former Josh Hawley aide who's now a political director for a loser.
Politics/CARTOGRAPHIC COPERY
Trump's 'New America' Rebrand: The Magical Thinking of a Map-Scribbling Dickhead
The former president's latest social media brainfart claims renaming New Mexico will cure crooked elections and inflate home prices, proving his only policy is slapping stickers on problems.
Politics/INCOMPLETE FUCKING ANALYSIS
California's Medi-Cal Fraud Machine Is a $12 Billion Fire Alarm Nobody Answers
The state's own system flagged 28,000 providers as high-risk for bogus billing. DHCS ignored 26,000 of them, leaving at least $12 billion in claims unchecked while leadership decided fraud wasn't a priority.
Politics/Legislative Fart
Senate GOP Forces Vote on a Bill So Useless It Makes a Campaign Sign Look Like Legislation
Republicans staged a floor vote on the Ratepayer Protection Act, a measure so devoid of enforcement that Democrats called it a 'sham' and a 'toothless messaging bill' designed solely to help a vulnerable Ohio senator's re-election.
Politics/Budgetary Cuntiness
Trump’s ‘Transformative’ Women’s Health Order Is a Fucking Ghost Town
Melania Trump hails new NIH division as a task force with no money and a boss who just axed women’s health programs takes the wheel.
Politics/Melting Metaphor
Florida governor’s gallium statue melts in Tallahassee heat
A life‑sized gallium statue of Ron DeSantis was unveiled in Tallahassee and began melting, exposing a skull beneath as a protest against his climate‑policy stance.
Politics/Vaguebooking Human Lives
DHS Decides 100,000 Lives Are Best Managed Like a Shitpost Draft
With TPS expiring in days, Homeland Security publishes a 'we'll get back to you' update, offering protection so vague it could be a deleted tweet and work permits as certain as a crypto investment.
Politics/The Maybe-Management
DHS Announces It's Still Jerking Off 102,800 People, Will Finish Maybe Later
In a landmark act of bureaucratic blue-balling, Homeland Security told Ukrainians and Sudanese they can stay, but refused to say for how long, under what rules, or if they can still work, because making a real decision is for grown-ups.
Politics/JUDICIAL WET NAPKIN
Prosecutor Caught Fucking the Constitution Gets a Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Card
Andrea Reeb held a state legislator's office while serving as special prosecutor against Alec Baldwin. The court says that's illegal. It also says she's immune from any fucking consequences.
World/Pathetic Perimeter Play
Paris Cops Impose Bedtime for Two Whole Blocks After Weekend of Looting and Rioting
Police declare curfew from 11 p.m. to 6 a.m. for two tiny districts, banning gatherings from 8 p.m., after a weekend where the city was on fire. The Prime Minister says it's 'very limited,' which is also a perfect description of their fucking imagination.