The facts
U.S. Magistrate Judge Dulce Foster ruled on Monday that Sheikhdoon Abdullahi Mohamud, an 18-year-old American citizen of Somali descent, will remain in custody. Prosecutors allege Mohamud planned a terror attack at the Mall of America and was arrested on October 6 after buying an AK-47, ammunition, and magazines from an undercover FBI employee. Assistant U.S. Attorney Benjamin Bejar stated during the hearing that Mohamud was "100% committed to doing this crime and he was 100% committed to doing it on behalf of ISIS." Mohamud had been on the FBI's radar since December 2024, communicating with a confidential informant. His attorney, Manny Atwal, argued that Mohamud was only 16 when the informant began contact and that the weapons were supplied by the FBI. Authorities said Mohamud planned to attack the mall on October 24, targeting an arts celebration by the Hmong community, with the goal of harming as many people as possible and becoming a martyr. FBI Special Agent Keegan Rupenthal testified that Mohamud pledged allegiance to the Islamic State group's leader upon arrest. Mohamud initially expressed interest in fighting with al-Shabab in Somalia but decided to attack in Minnesota due to a lack of funds for overseas travel.
Our take
So the FBI’s counterterrorism strategy has officially devolved into being the world’s shittiest angel investor, bankrolling the pathetic fantasies of broke-ass teenagers. Sheikhdoon Abdullahi Mohamud, you absolute fucking grifter, you couldn’t even scrape together the cash for your own jihad. You had to get your ‘martyrdom starter kit’ - an AK-47, ammo, the whole fucking shebang - on the government’s dime from an undercover agent. What a colossal fucking mooch. You were 100% committed, alright - 100% committed to being a welfare terrorist, living entirely off the teat of the federal sting operation you were too dense to recognize. Your big, scary plan was to attack a Hmong arts celebration at the Mall of America because you couldn’t afford the plane ticket to Somalia to join al-Shabab. Talk about a downgrade. From ‘international mujahideen’ to ‘mall rat with a murder boner’ because of a negative bank balance. The ambition is fucking staggering. The prosecutor said you were ‘100% committed to doing it on behalf of ISIS.’ ISIS must be so proud. Their newest recruit is so financially insolvent he needed a G-Man sugar daddy to fund his massacre. Your own lawyer’s defense is that they started talking to you when you were 16. Great. At 16, most kids are scheming to buy a shitty car or sneak into an R-rated movie. You were scheming to die in a Bloomington shopping center after buying your murder weapon from a cop. You are a special kind of stupid. And let’s not forget the heroic FBI agent who had to sit through your cringey pledge of allegiance to some ISIS dickhead upon arrest. The only thing you’ve successfully martyred is your own future, you dumb cunt. You wanted to harm as many people as possible? The only thing you’ve harmed is the credibility of everyone involved in this embarrassing, taxpayer-funded farce. You’re not a flight risk; you’re a fucking credit risk. Lock your government-funded, wannabe ass up and let him rot. The only terror attack here is on common sense. Fuck this clown. Fuck the FBI for having to play along with this poverty-tier bullshit. What a waste of fucking oxygen. Die mad about it, you broke bastard. Maybe in prison you can finally save up for that trip.
