Wars, heat, and everyone else’s fucking mess.
The fastest-growing Ebola outbreak in history is raging across seven provinces, but the World Health Organization says the real emergency is a critical shortage of assholes willing to work in the goddamn treatment centers.
Tigrayan rebels launch fresh offensive, seize airports, and declare 'full-blown war' while everyone else tries to remember what the fuck the last 600,000 deaths were for.
The world's most expensive talking shop reconvenes, its agenda a laundry list of disasters its members created and its bank account emptier than its promises.
The last refuge of scoundrels is now a no-fucking-transactions zone.
A pair of listless, lost-in-the-ocean shitstorms begin their brief, pointless journeys to nowhere.
Beijing’s loyalist gets a send-off fit for a party apparatchik, complete with a media blackout and a guest list shorter than a Hong Kong opposition leader’s prison sentence.
A new analysis pegs domestic abuse disclosures to maternity services at a staggering 20,000 a year in England, a number experts call a 'likely underestimate.' Midwives, the frontline, say they're too swamped and untrained to do fuck-all about it.
Settler vigilante violence soars, military raids rage, and the holiday of atonement begins with a roadblocked manhunt. What could go wrong?
After militants set up an overnight tollbooth to kidnap, extort, and steal vehicles, Pakistani security forces arrived to conduct a violent liquidation sale, killing five, freeing 23, and repossessing a small fleet.
Former Chilean president withdraws her historic bid for UN top job after Security Council straw poll delivers an atomic wedgie of 11 discouraging votes against her single thumbs‑up.
The Copernicus Climate Change Service confirmed 2026 as Europe’s warmest summer, with Germany alone seeing over 16,300 excess deaths linked to unprecedented heat waves.
Isaac Herzog cleared Elor Azaria’s criminal record despite opposition from army chief of staff Eyal Zamir, who said the soldier showed no remorse.
Supreme Security Council chief Mohsen Rezaei sends President Donald Trump a ‘conditions for peace’ note via Qatar, demanding cash, an end to blockades and a halt to the war.
The national electricity system took a shit, plunging millions into darkness for the sixth time this year, because the whole operation is held together with fucking wishes and a dwindling cup of diesel.
After months of Houthi threats, Riyadh's air raid sirens finally blared for real, proving the kingdom's multi-billion-dollar defense system works perfectly for alerting rich people that their war is no longer just a distant TV show.
Moscow’s electronic voting system endures a 'very powerful' cyberattack, because in a pre-scripted sham election, the only suspense is which imaginary villain the Kremlin will blame for the glitches.
Security forces declared a standoff 'concluded' after two final attackers blew themselves up, having already killed 21 and wounded 103 at a police mosque. The official response was to count bodies, note damage, and conduct a search of the obvious fucking ruins.
The kingdom blasted air raid sirens and warned of a 'hostile aerial threat' across the country, then reported absolutely nothing happened. No casualties, no damage, just a whole lot of scared citizens and a mystery boom.
In a stunning revelation, the U.S. military has discovered that shooting missiles at another country is expensive, with the 'weapons' line item swelling by over $6 billion in just over a month.
A new report reveals the Russian state's favorite app, Max, is less a messaging platform and more a digital rectal exam, capable of screenshotting your phone and rifling through your messages and payments without you noticing.
In a stunning display of 'look what we can do if you try anything,' the island's military held its first-ever joint drone-and-missile playdate, a move about as subtle as setting off fireworks in a library two days before the librarians are set to have a tense meeting about the noise.
In a new 'cooperation deal,' the US government subcontracts its human rights violations to Equatorial Guinea, where deportees are bound, hooded, beaten, and thrown down stairs for speaking to the press.
Teenager uses dad’s government‑stored gun to murder classmates after his online fan club for killers was apparently mistaken for an edgy phase.
President Lee Jae Myung draws a bright red line in the sand that says ‘Not Our Problem,’ leaving the U.S. to play with its own toys in the Middle East.
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