The facts
As of October 28, 2026, projections from The Guardian's live reporting showed neither Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's bloc nor the opposition led by Gadi Eisenkot reaching the 61 seats needed for a Knesset majority. Initial figures placed Netanyahu's bloc at 54 seats and the anti-Netanyahu Change bloc at 49, with Palestinian parties at 17. The Joint List chairman, Yousef Jabareen, stated his party was ready to help replace Netanyahu and called for a Jewish-Arab partnership. However, Eisenkot indicated he would only consider cooperation if Arab parties recognized Israel as a Jewish state and Hamas as extremist, conditions the report suggested would prevent a deal. Yair Golan, leader of the Democrats, advocated against excluding Palestinian representatives. Netanyahu rejected partnering with them, calling the idea treasonous. Coalition negotiations were expected to be crucial in determining government formation.
Our take
Well, well, well. If it isn’t the consequences of everyone’s own fucking bullshit. The election results are in, and the only clear winner is total, gridlocked chaos. Netanyahu’s bloc is sitting at 54 seats like a prick who showed up to a 61-seat party and thinks he gets to be DJ. The so-called opposition is at 49, which is just the political equivalent of bringing a slightly smaller bag of dicks to the same party. And the Palestinian parties? They’ve got 17 seats, which is basically the only new plot twist in this stale-ass reboot, and every other character is losing their goddamn mind about it. Netanyahu, the fucking drama queen, is already screeching that talking to them is ‘treasonous.’ Buddy, treason is when you sell out your country, not when you can’t count to 61. Take a seat. Literally. You don’t have enough of them. Meanwhile, Gadi Eisenkot over in the ‘Change’ bloc - a name that reeks of desperation - is waving his tiny list of demands. He’ll only talk to the Arab parties if they perform a series of rhetorical backflips that he knows full well they won’t do. It’s the political version of saying, ‘I’d love to hang out, but only if you admit my farts smell like roses first.’ It’s a coward’s ‘no,’ wrapped in the tissue-thin paper of principle. And Yair Golan is in the corner, politely suggesting maybe not being a total exclusionary asshole, which in this parliament of clowns makes him the only one not actively juggling his own balls. So here we are. After another expensive national tantrum, the grand result is that nobody can form a government, everyone hates everyone else’s conditions, and the only partnership on the table is a partnership in collective, raging impotence. The Knesset isn’t a parliament; it’s a daycare where all the toddlers have nuclear codes and an allergy to sharing. Enjoy the negotiations, you miserable bastards. May they be as fruitful as a concrete garden. What a shitshow. Fuck all of this.
