The facts
During a rally in Lubbock, Texas, Donald Trump announced his administration was “terminating” the 2024 methane rule that required oil and gas operators to minimize leaks, venting and flaring. He claimed the rollback would save consumers and energy producers $45 billion and unlock 210 million barrels of oil, roughly ten days of U.S. petroleum consumption. In a press release, EPA administrator Lee Zeldin praised what he called Trump’s move “to end the war on oil and natural gas.” Fieldnotes, an oil‑and‑gas watchdog, obtained records showing industry groups met with EPA staff at least 38 times to discuss the regulations. Researchers from Fieldnotes and the Environmental Defense Fund warned the change would benefit polluters at the expense of the climate and consumers.
Our take
Here’s the master plan from the world’s dumbest arsonist: take the one cork designed for the industry’s endless atmospheric farting and throw it in the fucking trash. At a rally dripping with the intellectual rigor of a bar fight, Donald Trump announced he’s ‘terminating’ rules that asked oil and gas companies to maybe stop leaking methane, a climate super‑charger. His big sell? An imaginary $45 billion ‘savings’ – not for your wallet, you poor bastard, but for the corporate pricks who’ve been treating our shared air like a giant, profit‑flushing toilet. They whined to their EPA lackeys at least 38 times about it, and now their orange‑haired shit‑gremlin is here to service them. EPA administrator Lee Zeldin, a spineless cockholster who’d gargle crude oil if Trump asked, labeled this surrender ‘ending the war on oil and natural gas.’ What war, you cowardly fuck? The war where we asked them not to turn the planet into a gas chamber. The U.S. already proudly leads the world in methane emissions from oil and gas, a gold medal in being a planetary asshole. Trump’s genius solution is to saw off the fucking scoreboard. He says this will ‘unlock’ 210 million barrels of oil. Sure – it’ll unlock more leaks, more flaring, and more of the hot‑boxing we call climate change. This isn’t economics; it’s a pyromaniac being handed a promotion to fire chief. The only thing being unlocked is the boardroom door so executives can laugh all the way to the bank while your kids breathe the equivalent of a refinery’s ass‑crack. This is what passes for policy in the mind of a man who thinks hurricanes should be nuked: a tantrum thrown for an industry that sees the atmosphere as a free dumpster. He’s not saving money; he’s saving face for the greediest cunts on Earth, turning your future into a heat‑stroke joke. Enjoy the sauna, suckers. He’s cranking the thermostat to ‘fry’ just to own the libs, and you get to pay the bill in asthma and acid rain. What a legacy: King Midas, if everything he touched leaked greenhouse gas and lawsuits. The man is a human pipeline rupture, and we’re all downstream. Bravo, you absolute cunt. Burn it all down so you can pose in the ashes. The rest of us have to choke on them.
