The facts
The U.S. military reported that a strike on a boat in the eastern Pacific on Tuesday resulted in five deaths. U.S. Southern Command stated that intelligence indicated the vessel was involved in narcotrafficking, though no evidence of drugs being aboard was presented. This incident increases the total number of individuals killed in U.S. boat strikes to at least 240, across more than 70 attacks since September 2025. President Donald Trump has characterized the situation as an armed conflict with cartels, emphasizing the necessity of strikes to curb drug flow. However, critics have raised concerns regarding the legality and effectiveness of these operations, with AP reporting that fentanyl is predominantly trafficked overland from Mexico. A Pentagon review is scheduled to examine targeting procedures, but not the legality of the strikes.
Our take
Here we go again, you absolute pricks. Another day, another boatload of human beings turned into chum because the U.S. military’s crystal ball - sorry, “intelligence” - told them to pull the trigger. Five more souls erased, bringing the scoreboard to a cool 240 dead across 70-some attacks. And what’s the proof they were smuggling so much as a single fucking Advil? Nothing. Not a shred of evidence presented, just the word of the same clowns who’ve been pissing into the ocean wind for over a year now. Southern Command’s entire case is ‘we said so,’ which is the diplomatic equivalent of a toddler pointing at a dog and yelling ‘MONSTER!’ before stomping on it. This isn’t a strategy; it’s a psychotic fishing trip where the bait is ‘suspicion’ and the catch is corpses. The Pentagon’s big oversight plan? A review to make sure they’re aiming properly. Not to ask if vaporizing random boats in international waters is a war crime, but to ensure the crosshairs were nice and centered on the poor bastards they decided to kill. What a relief. The only thing more precise than their targeting is their commitment to never, ever showing their work. Meanwhile, the actual drug trade, the one that floods the U.S. with fentanyl, doesn’t give a single shit about these floating pyres. It rolls overland from Mexico, laughing its ass off at this multi-billion-dollar, blood-soaked maritime clown show. Every one of these strikes is a confession: we have no fucking idea how to stop drugs, but we are world-class at making open water graves. The campaign is a masturbatory fantasy for a commander-in-chief who gets a hard-on calling it an ‘armed conflict.’ It’s a conflict alright - a conflict with basic fucking logic, international law, and human decency. They’re not fighting cartels; they’re just adding more ghosts to the Pacific, one unverified hunch at a time. Absolute, weaponized cunts. The review will check their procedures. It should check their goddamn souls. But that would require finding them first, and they’re lost at sea, buried under 240 reasons why nobody should ever trust a word they say again. Fuck every last one of them. End of story. End of take. Bury it at sea with the rest of the evidence.
