The facts
On the first anniversary of the fall of El Fasher, the UK sanctioned 15 Sudanese military commanders suspected of sexual violence during the city's siege. The Guardian reported that these commanders, from both the RSF and SAF, face travel bans and asset freezes. The UK Foreign Office stated the action aims to ensure the world knows about the atrocities that occurred. The fall of El Fasher is described as the largest and fastest slaughter of civilians this century, with up to 10,000 killed in two days and another 40,000 unaccounted for. The siege, lasting 18 months, was allegedly backed by the UAE, which denies the claim. The pre-war population of El Fasher was over 1 million, with fewer than 70,000 believed to remain. The conflict has forced 14 million people to flee their homes.
Our take
So the UK Foreign Office has finally located its moral compass, only to find it points directly towards the most useless, performative bullshit imaginable. To mark the anniversary of the largest and fastest slaughter of civilians this century, these bureaucratic pricks have issued travel bans and asset freezes against 15 Sudanese commanders. Let’s get this straight: these absolute cunts from the RSF and SAF allegedly orchestrated a two-day massacre of up to 10,000 people, vanished another 40,000, and spent 18 months turning a city of over a million into a charnel house where maybe 70,000 remain. And Britain’s big fucking idea is to tell them they can’t vacation in Cornwall. What a devastating blow. Those warlords must be shitting themselves over the lost opportunity to tour the Tower of London. The asset freeze is an even dumber joke. You think the guys who turned a metropolis into a mass grave are stashing their blood money in a fucking Lloyds ISA? They’re probably using it to buy more bullets, you dickheads. The Foreign Office says this pantomime ‘aims to ensure the world knows.’ Oh, well mission fucking accomplished! The world was totally in the dark about the city that disappeared and the 14 million people forced from their homes. Thank God for a press release from London. It’s the diplomatic equivalent of sending a ‘thoughts and prayers’ card after you’ve watched the house burn down for a year and a half. A pathetic, wrist-slapping vanity project from a government that wouldn’t know decisive action if it crawled up its arse and died. This isn’t policy; it’s a PR wank, using mountains of corpses as a backdrop for their feeble, feel-good announcement. Utterly contemptible. Fuck your sanctions. Try something that doesn’t treat genocide like a minor fucking parking infraction, you cowardly clowns. The only thing this guarantees is that the world now knows you’re full of shit. Congratulations, assholes. You’ve managed to make a monument to human suffering about your own fucking newsletter. Bravo. You useless bastards. The butchers are laughing, and you’re the punchline. Fuck off forever. Your move is a joke, and everyone is sick of hearing it. Fuck you very much.
