The facts
Two British nationals, Mohmed Ahmad Abdulkarim and Nouman Essghir, both 24, have been charged with national security offences following an incident at RAF Fairford in September. Abdulkarim is suspected of assisting Iran's intelligence service and has been charged with assisting a foreign intelligence service. Essghir faces a charge of entering a prohibited place for a purpose prejudicial to the UK. Both are scheduled to appear at Westminster Magistrates' Court. The incident involved three suspicious vans near the airbase, though no explosives were found, a quantity of petrol was seized. Assistant Commissioner Laurence Taylor stated that counter-terror police have observed "a range of incidents in recent months that we believe have been directed by the Iranian state." Iran has denied involvement. The airbase has been used by the US Air Force for operations in the Middle East.
Our take
Well, here’s a pair of real fucking Einsteins. Two British lads, Mohmed Ahmad Abdulkarim and Nouman Essghir, decided the best use of their young lives was to allegedly play secret squirrel for the Iranian intelligence service near a major US airbase. What a couple of prize pricks. Abdulkarim is charged with *assisting a foreign intelligence service*, which is a very fancy way of saying he’s accused of being a willing little cunt for a regime that chants ‘Death to America’ while probably hoping he’d help make that a bit more literal. His mate Essghir’s charge is *entering a prohibited place for a purpose prejudicial to the UK*, which translates to being such a colossal, nosey bastard he couldn’t resist a stroll where he wasn’t fucking wanted. Their big masterstroke? Rolling up in *three suspicious vans*. Not one, not two, but three fucking vans. Because subtlety is for pussies, apparently. No explosives were found, but cops did seize a quantity of petrol. So maybe their brilliant plan was to… mildly inconvenience a B-52 by giving it a slightly sooty wash? Or perhaps they were just lost on the way to a really shit car meet. Assistant Commissioner Laurence Taylor says counter-terror plod have seen ‘a range of incidents’ lately they think are directed by Iran. Iran, of course, denies it. They always do. It’s like a toddler with jam all over its face insisting it didn’t touch the jar. These two dickheads are scheduled for Westminster Magistrates’ Court. Here’s hoping the magistrate asks them to explain their genius operation, in detail, so we can all have a proper laugh at the sheer, unadulterated bullshit of it all. What a pair of utter clowns.
