The facts
A group of 21 Indian news publishers, including companies owned by Mukesh Ambani and Gautam Adani, have challenged the government's new privacy law in the Supreme Court. The publishers argue the law, which requires journalists to seek consent from individuals they write about, amounts to pre-censorship and could lead to newsrooms shutting down. Madhavi Goradia Divan, lawyer for the Digital News Publishers Association (DNPA), stated that the law changes the concept of news and that newsrooms will close if they must ask for permission. The DNPA's filing argues that requiring consent would allow subjects of investigations to destroy evidence or intimidate witnesses. The law also permits individuals to withdraw consent and demand data erasure, potentially forcing publishers to unpublish or redact factual reports. Concerns were also raised about a federal authority that can impose fines and block information in the public interest, and the potential for newsrooms to be compelled to divulge sources, deterring whistleblowers.
Our take
A consortium of 21 Indian media outlets, which includes the pet hamsters of billionaires Mukesh Ambani and Gautam Adani, has sprinted to the Supreme Court to whine that a new privacy law might cramp their style. Their argument, delivered with the solemnity of a toddler denied a second lollipop, is that having to ask a person’s consent before publishing details about them is basically the same as shuttering the entire fourth estate. What a bunch of sensitive fucking flowers. The lawyer for these brave defenders of truth, Madhavi Goradia Divan, claims the law changes the concept of news. No, you absolute cunts, it changes the concept of being an unchecked dickhead. The old concept of ‘news’ apparently involved treating human beings as raw material to be processed through the gossip mill without a second thought. Now that’s under threat, and the press barons are crying like scolded children. Their filing paints a hysterical picture where asking for consent lets corrupt subjects ‘destroy evidence.’ Right, because the standard operating procedure for a seasoned investigative journalist is to politely call the corrupt minister and ask, ‘Sir, before I expose your massive graft scheme, may I please have your written permission?’ It’s the dumbest, most self-serving bullshit imaginable. They’re also pissing their khakis over the law letting people withdraw consent and demand erasure, which might force them to ‘unpublish’ factual reports. Oh, the humanity! Having to maybe retract a story? The horror! Never mind that their billionaire owners’ other businesses probably have entire departments dedicated to making inconvenient facts disappear. The sheer, unadulterated gall of these pricks is breathtaking. They’ve built empires on other people’s privacy and now they’re waving the ‘public interest’ flag like it’s a get-out-of-jail-free card handed down from God. They’re not worried about journalism; they’re worried about their own unchecked power to be utter assholes. Fuck them and their performative panic attack. Let them sweat. Maybe a little accountability will make their ‘news’ slightly less shitty. Probably not, but a cunt can dream.
