The facts
A US federal appeals court rejected the Trump administration’s move to block California from counting the ballots of 20,000 registered voters that the justice department claims are non-citizens. The court ruled 2-1 against Donald Trump’s justice department, denying the administration’s demand that election officials segregate the ballots until citizenship could be verified. The justice department had given the California secretary of state 48 hours to carry out the order, which state election officials refused, leading to the lawsuit. The San Francisco-based ninth US circuit court of appeals decision marks a setback in Trump’s attempts to assert a greater federal role in overseeing elections. Los Angeles election officials analyzed a sample of 200 people on the list and found a high percentage were born in the US. California’s attorney general Rob Bonta called the decision a victory for voting rights, while Governor Gavin Newsom accused Trump of an “assault on democracy.”
Our take
Here we go again: another chapter in the Trump administration’s endless, cringe-inducing saga of 'voter fraud' fan fiction, this time getting its manuscript ripped up by a federal court. The Justice Department, that bastion of principled legal scholarship, demanded California sequester 20,000 ballots based on their super-secret, definitely-not-made-up list of alleged non-citizens. California, being a state that occasionally checks facts, said 'fuck that' and, in a shocking twist, actually sampled the list. Turns out a 'high percentage' of these so-called illegal voters were born right here in the good ol' US of A. Whoops! Guess the DOJ’s crack detective work involved picking names out of a hat while masturbating to a picture of a 'rigged election' stamp. The court’s 2-1 'denied, you absolute clowns' ruling is the judicial equivalent of a bench slap. These federalist society dickheads thought they could waltz in, issue a 48-hour ultimatum like they’re Tony fucking Soprano, and have state officials jump. Instead, they got told to sit the fuck down and maybe try having evidence next time. This isn’t a legal strategy; it’s a toddler’s tantrum dressed in a cheap suit, a pathetic attempt to grift some last-minute election chaos because their guy is a historic loser. The only 'assault on democracy' here is the DOJ’s assault on our collective intelligence, peddling this bullshit while pretending to be serious lawyers. They’re not lawyers; they’re conspiracy theory delivery boys, handing out subpoenas wrapped in toilet paper. Every time they lose one of these cases - and they lose constantly - they just wipe the shit off their faces and move to the next desperate, laughable scheme. This ruling is a setback for Trump’s dream of federal election dick-swinging, and thank fuck for that. The only thing that should be segregated is these cunts from any position of power ever again. Now go cry into your pillow about it, you pathetic frauds. The adults are counting votes without your clown show interference. Piss off. Cunt.
