The facts
Attorney General Todd Blanche defended the Trump administration's lawsuit aimed at blocking the certification of Alaska's Senate election results if Republican incumbent Dan Sullivan loses. Blanche stated on CNN's "State of the Union" that President Donald Trump, who claimed responsibility for the lawsuit, is not attempting to overturn state election results. The lawsuit was filed because Republicans fear a second candidate named Dan Sullivan could siphon votes from the incumbent, potentially benefiting Democrat Mary Peltola. Blanche argued the legal challenge is a necessary step to avoid confusing voters in the midterm race. He told CBS' "Face the Nation" the lawsuit is intended to "put guardrails in place" to preserve evidence of potential voter confusion, asserting it is consistent with federal and Alaskan law. Trump stated the ballot was unfair and that Sen. Sullivan should be identified as the sitting senator. Alaska's other Republican senator, Lisa Murkowski, criticized the lawsuit.
Our take
Let’s be perfectly fucking clear: the Trump campaign’s latest legal diarrhea is a pre-emptive lawsuit because they’re scared a guy named Dan Sullivan might get votes meant for another guy named Dan Sullivan. This isn’t a legal strategy; it’s the political equivalent of a toddler shrieking that the rules are unfair before the game has even started, because he’s already decided he might lose. Attorney General Todd Blanche, a man whose job is now to gargle this nonsense and call it law, went on TV to claim this is about preventing 'voter confusion.' Right. The only thing confused here is Blanche’s understanding of his own dignity. He’s arguing to 'put guardrails in place' to 'preserve evidence' of a problem that doesn’t fucking exist yet. What evidence? The sheer, pant-shitting terror of Republicans who can’t bear the thought of voters maybe, possibly, liking a Democrat more? Trump himself, the lawsuit’s proud papa, says the ballot is 'unfair' and his Dan Sullivan should get a special title. This is the cry of a spoiled, losing brat: 'Put “Sitting Senator” on my guy’s name or I’ll sue!' Even Alaska’s own Republican senator, Lisa Murkowski, thinks this is bullshit. That’s like the ship’s rat telling the captain the bilge is getting a bit too rancid. The whole fucking charade is a confession of cowardice. They are so certain their ideas can’t win on merit that their only move is to try and legally block a name from appearing on a ballot, a pathetic, pre-emptive strike against their own voters’ intelligence. It’s a grift wrapped in a lawsuit inside a giant, throbbing panic attack. Absolute clowns, every one of them, pissing on the electoral process because they’ve already smelled defeat in the air and it’s making their tiny dicks shrivel up. End of story, you dickheads. Go cry to a judge about how scary democracy is when you might lose. Cunts.
