The facts
Bangkok was declared a disaster zone by its city officials towards the end of last week, after streets in Thailand’s capital city were submerged in up to waist-high flood water. The flooding stemmed from an active cell of low pressure across central Thailand that brought continuous heavy rainfall and thunderstorms to Bangkok and surrounding regions. The heavy rain began early on Thursday when the weak area of low pressure travelled north-westwards up the gulf of Thailand before then sitting over central Thailand by Friday morning. For most of the following two days this low pressure remained roughly in situ, which allowed unrelenting downpours over Bangkok and nearby areas. One weather station near Prachin Buri, just north-east of the capital, recorded 213.5mm within a 24-hour period between Friday and Saturday evening local time. Fortunately, the centre of the low-pressure cell shifted north-westwards on Sunday and brought an end to the torrential rainfall. Out in the central Pacific, meanwhile, citizens of Hawaii’s Big Island were threatened by Hurricane Nolo over the weekend. By the early hours of Saturday Nolo was a category 2 hurricane, with sustained windspeeds of 85-90 knots (98-104mph), situated at its closest to the archipelago at approximately 145 miles (233km) south of the Big Island. Strong winds were not the only threat to the Big Island, as the vast quantity of rainfall raised concerns over flooding and mudslides. Meanwhile, farther east in the Pacific Ocean, Hurricane Polo is now forecast to make landfall with the Baja California peninsula late in the day on Monday 28 September. The once category 5 hurricane will downgrade to category 2 by landfall with sustained winds of 96-110mph.
Our take
Bangkok’s city officials, a collection of useless cunts who clearly believe paperwork can stop the rain, finally declared a disaster zone after a lazy, weak low-pressure cell decided to become a permanent fucking fixture over central Thailand. This atmospheric asshole traveled northwest up the gulf early Thursday, parked its shit by Friday morning, and then just sat there like a stubborn bastard for two full days, pissing unrelenting downpours onto the city until the streets were waist-deep swimming pools. One station near Prachin Buri recorded 213.5mm in 24 hours, a number so specific it highlights the exact moment these bureaucratic dickheads should have started bailing, not drafting declarations.
The storm didn’t give a shit about their disaster zone label. It only fucked off northwest on Sunday when it felt like it, proving the entire official response was a belated, soggy joke. While Bangkok’s leaders were busy slapping stickers on a drowned city, Hurricane Nolo was being an actual threat - a category 2 hurricane with 98-104mph winds parked 145 miles south of Hawaii’s Big Island, threatening real flooding and mudslides. That’s a storm with some ambition, not this sedentary piss-cloud that treated Bangkok like its personal fucking toilet.
Meanwhile, Hurricane Polo is charging toward Baja California, downgrading from a category 5 monster to a still-fearsome category 2 by landfall. These Pacific systems have the decency to move and actually be hurricanes, not just sit in one spot and leak like a broken pipe. The low-pressure cell over Bangkok was the meteorological equivalent of a houseguest who won’t leave and keeps vomiting in your sink - a weak, pathetic system that only required officials to look out the fucking window to see the disaster coming.
Declaring a zone after the fact is like putting a ‘Wet Floor’ sign on a lake. The city had two days of this stationary fuck’s rainfall to prepare, but instead they waited for the water to reach waist height before acting surprised. Next time, maybe they can declare a disaster when the lazy storm first parks its ass, not after it’s already finished taking a two-day piss on their capital.
