The facts
President Donald Trump stated that peace negotiations with Iran are proceeding "fine," but expressed skepticism regarding the reliability of Tehran's negotiators. Secretary of State Marco Rubio indicated on Saturday that Trump has not yet decided whether to resume strikes against Iran, favoring a diplomatic resolution instead. According to The Associated Press, Iranian Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi reported that a proposal under discussion with mediators could lead to the full reopening of the Strait of Hormuz within two days. These talks, involving Iranian negotiators and Qatari mediators in Doha, aim to end the conflict. Araghchi also stated that Iran does not currently plan direct meetings with U.S. officials. Previously, Iran had offered to reopen the waterway within a week if the U.S. lifted its port blockade, released frozen assets, and eased oil export restrictions, an offer the U.S. rejected.
Our take
Fuck me sideways, the dynamic duo of diplomatic dickheads is at it again. President 'The Art of the Deal' Trump, a man whose word is worth less than a used condom found in a Mar-a-Lago bathroom, says negotiations are going "fine" while simultaneously calling the other side a pack of liars. That's like saying your marriage is great while you're telling the bartender your wife is a cheating whore. What a statesman.
Then we have Secretary of State Marco Rubio, the human bobblehead, who crawled out of whatever hole he's been hiding in to announce that Trump hasn't decided on more strikes and prefers diplomacy. No shit, Sherlock. He prefers it because actually starting a full-blown war before an election might look bad, even for this carnival of cunts. 'Not likely before the midterms' isn't a foreign policy, you absolute prick, it's a political calculation so transparent you could read a newspaper through it.
And while these two clowns are performing their 'will we, won't we' soft-shoe routine, the Iranians are over in Doha actually talking to mediators like Qatar, offering to unclog the Strait of Hormuz in two fucking days if the U.S. stops being a colossal asshole. But we already said no to that, because what's the point of having the world's most expensive military if you can't use it to choke global oil shipments and then pretend you're the reasonable one? The U.S. rejected a deal that would literally solve the crisis in 48 hours because it involved not being a bully. The sheer, galaxy-brained stupidity of it is breathtaking.
So the state of play is this: Trump calls them unreliable, Rubio mumbles about maybe not bombing for a few more months, and Iran says they won't even meet with us directly. This isn't diplomacy, it's a group of toddlers having a shit-flinging contest in the world's most important shipping lane. The only thing 'on the table' is the collective ego of these fragile, posturing bastards, and the only thing getting resolved is the American voter's patience for this endless, dangerous bullshit.
