The facts
A Justice Department audit, Report 27-003, dated October 2026, reviewed the department's confidential informant policies. The department-wide guidance is the AG Guidelines CI, the AG Guidelines FBI CHS, and the Risk Assessment Memo issued by former Deputy Attorney General James M. Cole. The AG Guidelines CI was last updated in 2002, the Risk Assessment Memo was issued in 2013, and the AG Guidelines FBI CHS was last updated in 2020, and Office of the Deputy Attorney General personnel did not identify any additional substantive guidance for all components since the Risk Assessment Memo was issued.
The audit covers OIA, where a CI is authorized to engage in criminal activity and which may result in harm to other persons or property. The FBI must report data to the Department on all OIA annually, but the ATF, the DEA, and the USMS are not subject to this annual reporting requirement, and without requiring them to report, the Department lacks consistent and complete oversight of OIA use by its law enforcement components. The AG Guidelines CI do not apply to foreign intelligence or foreign counterintelligence investigations, so the ATF, the DEA, and the USMS do not have any guidance to govern their use of CIs in matters covered by Executive Order 14157, designating drug cartels as foreign terrorist organizations, and Executive Order 14367, designating fentanyl as a weapon of mass destruction.
High-level CIs are individuals closely associated with criminal enterprises or affiliated with protected speech, and the AG Guidelines CI require Confidential Informant Review Committee (CIRC) approval before CI operations using them, while the AG Guidelines FBI CHS allow the FBI to use certain high-level CIs for 60 days before full CIRC approval. Payments have historically been cash-based, the AG Guidelines CI do not contemplate electronic payments, and the AG Guidelines FBI CHS allow electronic payments only in extraordinary circumstances without further internal controls, although components have used electronic payments and FBI personnel noted cryptocurrency may be an effective way to pay CIs.
Our take
Let's get this straight: the United States Department of Justice runs a fucking coupon program for crime. They hand out Get-Out-of-Jail-Free cards to professional criminals, authorizing them to hurt people and break shit, and then they can't be arsed to keep a tally. The FBI, being the teacher's pet of federal law enforcement, turns in its annual crime count like a good little boy. But the ATF, the DEA, and the US Marshals Service? They operate on the honor system. They just don't have to report. The department admits it has no consistent oversight - which is bureaucratic bullshit for 'we have no fucking clue what crimes we've signed off on.' It's like running a casino where the pit bosses don't count the chips. What a staggering, world-class act of administrative cowardice. These dickheads authorized harm to persons and property and then lost the paperwork. Fuck me sideways with a subpoena. And the rulebook for this three-ring shitshow? It's a fucking relic. The main guidelines for these agencies were written in 2002 - back when flip phones were cool and the War on Terror was a fresh new brand of American insanity. Since a single memo in 2013, no one has bothered to write any substantive new rules for all the components. But in the meantime, the executive branch has decided drug cartels are terrorist organizations and fentanyl is a weapon of mass destruction. So now the ATF, DEA, and Marshals are playing in the national security sandbox with zero fucking guidance on how to run their pet criminals. They upgraded the war and forgot to update the playbook for their own spies. It's like sending soldiers into a drone fight with a manual for muskets. Then there's the money. These pricks pay their criminal assets in cash, because the 2002 rules don't even think about electronic payments. The FBI is allowed to use digital payments only in 'extraordinary circumstances' with no further controls, which they've done anyway, and some genius at the Bureau has floated the idea that cryptocurrency 'may be an effective way to pay CIs.' Are you kidding me? You're going to pay your secret crime-committing assets in untraceable internet magic beans under guidelines written before PayPal was a household name? This isn't a loss of control. It's a deliberate, open-sewer policy of willful ignorance. The Justice Department isn't managing informants; it's running a black-budget crime franchise with the oversight of a toddler's lemonade stand. What a pack of absolute, top-to-bottom cunts.
