The facts
Netflix is reducing its global workforce by approximately 1,000 employees, which represents about 6% of its total staff. The company stated that the majority of these layoffs will impact its technology, legal, and human resources departments, among others. This move comes as Netflix faces challenges in increasing user engagement due to heightened competition in the streaming market. The company's stock saw a slight increase by the end of the trading day. In other news, Iran reported that a cargo ship sank in the Strait of Hormuz after hitting a mine, showing unverified footage of the vessel on fire. This is the first such incident Iran has announced since the start of the current war. Separately, Iran-backed Houthi rebels claimed responsibility for striking the headquarters of Saudi Aramco, with no injuries reported. Saudi Arabia also announced the interception of two ballistic missiles over Riyadh. The Vatican provided an update on Pope Leo, stating he is eating and walking following surgery to remove a cancerous portion of his lung, with his recovery proceeding as planned. The U.S. Supreme Court heard arguments regarding the Video Privacy Protection Act of 1988, a law enacted after a reporter obtained Supreme Court nominee Robert Bork's video rental records. The case involves a man who alleges that the sharing of his online viewing information with Facebook violated this act.
Our take
Netflix’s big plan for beating Disney+ is to fire the people who make the app work and keep them out of court. What a galaxy-brained strategy, you absolute fucking clowns. A thousand human beings - 6% of your global staff - are now jobless because your C-suite dickheads were too busy counting their ‘Bird Box’ money to notice every other studio on Earth was launching a streaming service. The ‘challenges in increasing user engagement’? Maybe it’s because your top recommendation is still a show about sentient fucking gummy bears. So their solution isn’t to, I don’t know, make better content. It’s to sack the tech, legal, and HR departments. The engineers who stop the ‘Are you still watching?’ screen from being a permanent fixture are gone, but the vice president in charge of ‘Emily in Paris’ season 12 gets to keep his ergonomic chair. The stock price ticked up, of course, because Wall Street loves nothing more than a company setting its own workers on fire to keep the quarterly numbers warm. This is corporate cannibalism at its most pathetic: a hollow, heartless grift performed by cowards who’ll call it a ‘rightsizing’ while they commission another true-crime documentary about a misunderstood CEO. They’ve turned their headquarters into a real-life episode of ‘Squid Game’, where the prize for the losers isn’t death, it’s a severance package and a LinkedIn post about ‘new opportunities’. The only engagement they’ve increased is the number of middle fingers aimed at their headquarters. Complete and utter cunts. The fucking mine that sank that cargo ship in the news today had more humanity than these algorithm-loving assholes. At least a mine just explodes; Netflix makes you sit through a performance review first. Their legacy won’t be revolutionizing television - it’ll be pioneering new, shittier ways to treat people like a line of code you can comment out and delete. Fuck every single one of them. Go find the executives and ask them if it’s cake, because their fucking brains sure are. They’re not leaders; they’re the HR violation that the now-fired HR department was supposed to prevent. Worthless pricks. The only thing they’re streaming now is a live feed of their own moral bankruptcy.
