The facts
The International Confederation of Music Publishers (ICMP), representing major music rights holders, has claimed that AI models have already been trained on the works of Australian artists, including Kylie Minogue and Nick Cave, without compensation. The ICMP warns that Australia is unique among dozens of countries approached by tech firms to consider watering down copyright laws to facilitate AI training. John Phelan, the ICMP’s managing director, stated that AI companies are attempting to 'legitimise larceny' and are 'strong-arming' Australian policymakers. He noted that while AI companies claim models are not trained on Australian content due to copyright rules, evidence shows Google's Gemini has reproduced lyrics from artists like Minogue and Cave. Phelan highlighted that 62 other countries have considered legal changes but have not adopted AI companies' demands for new text and data mining exceptions for commercial purposes. Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has previously stated that artists must retain control over the use of their work for AI training and be compensated. A parliamentary committee is examining current copyright settings, with concerns raised about potential lobbying by global tech companies behind closed doors.
Our take
So the AI fuckers have already sucked Kylie Minogue's entire catalogue through a digital straw and now their play is to bully Australia into passing a law that says the vomit is theirs. What a stunningly shitty business model: commit the crime, then lobby to make the crime the law. These talentless tech pricks are the corporate equivalent of a guy who steals your car, then shows up at your house with a petition to legalize grand theft auto because, hey, he's already driving it. John Phelan from the music publishers calls it 'legitimising larceny,' which is just a fancy term for these boardroom bastards being a gang of fleecing cunts in Patagonia vests. Their evidence is perfect: while these companies claim they don't train on copyrighted Aussie content, Google's Gemini is apparently belching up Nick Cave lyrics like a goth college student after three espresso shots. So they're not just thieves, they're lying thieves with a product that can't even keep its digital mouth shut about the crime. The real joke is their target. Of all the places on earth, these vultures have apparently decided Australia is the world's biggest, most gullible mark. They've asked 62 other countries to be the legal bag-holder for their data-hoovering and got told to piss off. But Australia? Oh, she's special. She's the one lonely rube they think they can strong-arm into signing a permission slip for global plunder. It's like picking the one friend who always pays for drinks and asking them to also legalize pickpocketing. Prime Minister Albanese has mumbled the baseline human position that artists should get paid, which is the moral equivalent of announcing that water is wet. Meanwhile, the real work is happening in some parliamentary backroom where these tech grifters are whispering their bullshit, hoping to turn a nation into a copyright-free toilet for their AI to keep taking dumps in. The only compensation these pricks deserve is a boot. A big, fucking Australian one. Right up their data pipeline. Pay for the art you steal, you cowardly con artists. Or get ready to spin 'I Should Be So Lucky' on a fucking courtroom exhibit speaker until your ears bleed. Your move, dickheads. End of story.
