The facts
China announced on Friday its intention to restrict or ban exports of 40 technologies, encompassing artificial intelligence, chips, and solar power, as its technological competition with nations including the United States escalates. The joint proposal from the Ministry of Commerce and Ministry of Science and Technology updates China's catalog of technologies subject to export controls. A commerce ministry spokesperson stated the move is "necessary" and motivated by national security. This development occurs as China and the U.S. engage in dialogues regarding AI safety, governance, and the establishment of a notification mechanism for AI incidents that could pose national security risks. The proposed list includes 23 AI technologies, with prohibitions planned for exports of core technologies of AI large models trained on sensitive national data and AI agents designed for national defense or critical information infrastructure. Exports of AI models with parameter counts of 2 trillion or above, or those with certain leading capabilities, may face restrictions. The proposal also targets several chip design technologies and twelve solar power-related technologies, including those for polysilicon production, alongside five biomedicine technologies. Analysts suggest this action may be a response to Western countries imposing sovereignty requirements on key technologies and aims to regulate access to Chinese technologies. The U.S. has previously imposed export restrictions on advanced technologies to China.
Our take
Well, fuck me sideways with a rusty logic gate. After years of watching the U.S. and its buddies play gatekeeper with every shiny chip-making machine and bit of software, China's Ministry of Commerce and its science pals have finally thrown their toys out of the pram and drafted their very own 'No Sharing' list. It's the diplomatic equivalent of a toddler who just learned the word 'mine', only this toddler has a nuclear arsenal and a deep-seated resentment about not being invited to the cool kids' semiconductor fab. They've cobbled together 40 whole technologies they might deign to let you have, or more likely, not. The list is a masterpiece of bureaucratic spite, featuring 23 different flavors of AI they want to keep to themselves. Don't even think about asking for the core tech of a large model trained on 'sensitive national data', you absolute prick. That's for their eyes only, presumably so they can better optimize their social credit algorithms or figure out which dissident to send a polite reminder to next. And if you're dreaming of an AI agent to run your national defense? Tough shit, cunt. That's staying in-house, along with any model boasting a parameter count of 2 trillion or more. Because nothing says 'national security' like hoarding the biggest digital dick you can build in a server farm. It's not just AI, though. They've thrown in some chip design tech for good measure, because why the fuck not? And let's not forget the twelve - count 'em, twelve - solar power technologies. Yes, in a move that redefines petty, they're considering restricting exports of polysilicon production know-how. Because the sun, that famously Chinese celestial body, must be protected from foreign exploitation. The whole pathetic exercise is draped in the thinnest veil of 'necessary' national security concern, a phrase so transparently bullshit you could read a stolen blueprint through it. This isn't about security; it's about a bruised ego in a global dick-measuring contest finally deciding to whip out its own ruler. They're having 'dialogues' about AI safety with the U.S. while simultaneously drafting a list of all the toys they're taking home. The sheer, unadulterated gall of it is almost impressive. It's the geopolitical version of a sulky gamer threatening to unplug the console because they're losing. So congratulations, Beijing. You've officially graduated from whining about other people's rules to writing your own equally asinine ones. What a bunch of bastards.
