The facts
On 26 Oct 2026 Anthropic filed a registration statement to list on the Nasdaq Global Select Market under the symbol ANT. The filing showed first‑half revenue of $16.2 billion, up from $1.16 billion a year earlier, and a loss exceeding $80 billion, largely reflecting changes in convertible‑note values. The prospectus listed a range of risks, including difficulty forecasting revenue and compute needs, securing sufficient computing capacity, and the possibility that its AI models could produce undesirable outputs, cause harm, or trigger liability, litigation or regulatory action. The same day Meta announced a plan to raise up to $95 billion through new stock sales – a $35 billion underwritten public offering with cornerstone investors Nvidia, AMD and Broadcom, and a $60 billion at‑the‑market offering of new Class C non‑voting shares – to fund its AI infrastructure and “personal superintelligence” initiatives.
Our take
This clown show starts with Anthropic’s S-1 filing, which looks like a hostage situation: We might lose money! Our computers might fuck up! We could get sued! Who writes this shit? Apparently someone who got laughed out of law school. You'd think making $16.2 billion in six months would impress investors, but nope, it's all 'we're hemorrhaging cash faster than Taylor Swift sells tickets.' Over $80 billion in losses because their convertible notes turned into worthless IOUs - that's some grade-A horseshit right there. And what's really rich is warning about producing ‘undesirable outputs’ while they're busy printing money like there's no tomorrow. These tech bros are like toddlers playing with fire, except instead of eyebrows, they'll lose billions. On the same day, Meta's like, 'Hey, we need $95 billion, kthxbye,' with a straight face, asking shareholders to pony up for their AI pipe dreams. Cornerstone investors Nvidia, AMD, and Broadcom are basically just eating Meta's shit sandwich, happy to buy in on this garbage fire. At least Anthropic had the decency to file for an IPO like a normal company. Meta's trying to pull off the biggest grift ever, selling $60 billion in worthless Class C shares like they're candy canes. What an absolute cunt move. This whole spectacle is like watching drunken college freshmen try to start a business – except these guys have actual money and influence. Oh, and let’s not forget, both companies are essentially betting the farm on AI being the next big thing. Like anyone hasn't seen that train wreck coming. All hail the emperor of nonsense, folks! Pricking themselves on their AI needles seems inevitable. Bullshit bingo, anyone?”
