The facts
Acting Secretary of the Army Adam R. Telle scheduled the execution of Nidal Hasan, convicted of killing 13 people in a 2009 shooting at Fort Hood, Texas, for December 3. Self-styled War Secretary Pete Hegseth announced that the execution would be public and livestreamed. President Donald Trump later called off the broadcast, stating that while it might serve as a deterrent, many people would prefer not to watch. The New York Times framed the planned broadcast as an aberration, but The Intercept notes this overlooks a forgotten American cultural history. The practice of filming executions in America is nearly as old as cinema itself. In 1897, filmmaker Frederick Guth filmed the hanging of William Carr, the first filmed execution. The following year, “An Execution by Hanging” depicted the hanging of Edward Heinson. These early films were met with both interest and outcry. Filmmakers later blended reality with fiction, combining actual execution footage with fictionalized reenactments. Thomas Edison’s studio produced films like “Execution of Czolgosz with Panorama of Auburn Prison” (1901), which combined location shots with a mannequin to depict an electrocution. Other films around the turn of the century, such as “Beheading a Chinese Prisoner” (1900), focused on lurid details. Many films depicted mob executions, including “Edison’s Lynching Scene” (1898). As new execution methods like the electric chair emerged, they were also filmed and reenacted. However, as public hangings faded and executions moved indoors, access to death chambers became restricted, preventing recordings from reaching the public.
Our take
Well, here’s a fucking shocker. The same Pentagon shitheads who can’t procure a working coffee maker thought it would be a brilliant idea to livestream a fucking execution. Acting Secretary of the Army Adam Telle scheduled it, and then Pete Hegseth - a glorified cable news blowhard playing dress-up as ‘War Secretary’ - strutted onto the public stage to announce the gore would be streamed for your viewing pleasure. What a pair of visionary cunts. They tapped directly into the proud American tradition of treating state-sanctioned murder as prime-time content, a tradition as old as film itself. Because of course it is. This country’s first reel was basically a snuff film from 1897. We were filming hangings before we figured out plot. The New York Times acted all surprised, like this was some unprecedented descent into barbarism. No, you pretentious fucks, it’s not an aberration - it’s our fucking origin story. Thomas Edison wasn’t just inventing the lightbulb; his studio was stitching together shots of a real prison with a mannequin getting electrocuted for the folks at home. We’ve always been the kind of pathetic assholes who would film a beheading and call it ‘culture.’ The only thing that changed is that the public hangings got too embarrassing for the elites, so they moved the carnage indoors and called it ‘dignified.’ Now the modern military, a institution of unmatched bureaucratic cowardice and morbid vanity, wanted to drag it back into the light for clicks. They didn’t invent this shitty impulse. They’re just the latest in a long line of government-sanctioned ghouls who think a camera lens confers meaning on their bloodlust. Trump, the carnival barker-in-chief, eventually called it off, not on principle, but because even he realized some of his fans might find it a bit of a downer during dinner. Too fucking late. The mask slipped. The whole pathetic plan revealed the enduring truth: America’s favorite pastime isn’t baseball; it’s filming people die and pretending we’re not monsters for watching. The military just wanted its turn to direct. Fuck every last one of them. They’re not pioneers. They’re just latecomers to a century-old circle jerk of death and spectacle, and they brought a better internet connection.
