The facts
Calese Crowder, 39, a registered sex offender, was sentenced Tuesday, September 8, to 170 days in Los Angeles County jail, with credit for 12 days, after an August 28 arrest in Glendale. Police said stores reported a man bending down near customers. Officers found him on the 100 block of South Brand Boulevard. KTLA reported Big Sav Discount Store staff said it was the third time they had seen him acting that way. There was also a call from a Marshalls nearby.
Crowder became widely known after an August 2023 TikTok from Michaela Witter that appeared to show him crouching behind her at a Burbank Barnes & Noble. He said he was tying his shoes. He has a string of similar arrests, including 2025 stops in Burbank. The Daily Star reported a judge had imposed a parole condition that he "shall not come within 6 feet of people's butts." Tuesday's sentence was for a parole violation tied to the Glendale arrest. He is expected to return to parole after the 170 days.
Our take
A court in California had to write "stay six feet from butts" on a piece of paper, and the man still went shopping.
That is not a mental-health pamphlet. That is a face. Forty-plus arrests, a viral crouch, a shoelace story, and 170 days. Then he gets the sidewalk back. The women in Marshalls are not the joke. The revolving door is. The six-foot rule is the only honest sentence in the file.
If your parole condition is a tape measure around strangers' asses, you do not need a program. You need a building that does not have a Marshalls.
