The facts
Police in Mumbai are investigating a shooting attempt on Bollywood actor Tiger Shroff, who survived without sustaining any gunshot wounds. The 36-year-old was shot at on Sunday evening while he was in a car leaving a football ground in the Juhu suburb. Videos showed at least two men firing multiple shots at close range at the front passenger seat of Shroff's car as it moved slowly past a crowd. Two people, including Shroff's driver, were injured, according to the police. Three people were detained in Rajasthan on Monday in connection with the incident, police said. The attack has sent shockwaves through Bollywood, with celebrities raising concerns about Shroff's safety. Eknath Shinde, deputy chief minister of Maharashtra state, visited Shroff after the shooting and said the actor had been left "shaken." Maharashtra Chief Minister Devendra Fadnavis described the incident as "serious and condemnable." The All Indian Cine Workers Association condemned the attack, alleging that gangsters were deliberately targeting people in the film industry to create an "atmosphere of fear" and extort money. Indian media reports have widely reported that an audio clip has surfaced in which a man claiming to be linked to the Lawrence Bishnoi gang says he is responsible, though police have not confirmed the gang's involvement.
Our take
Tiger Shroff, the human equivalent of a screensaver, has managed to turn an attempted assassination into a masterclass in being a useless prick. Two men emptied rounds into his car at point-blank range, and the only thing this overpaid dancer managed to hit was the fucking floor mats. He survived ‘without sustaining any gunshot wounds,’ which is police code for ‘the gunmen had better aim at his career, because that’s already dead.’
Videos show the whole pathetic circus: his car crawling past a crowd like a fucking parade float for dickheads, giving the shooters all the time in the world to line up a shot at the passenger seat. The only casualties were his driver and some other poor bastard, because Shroff’s superpower is apparently making other people catch the bullets meant for his vacant, grinning face. Three people were detained in Rajasthan, probably for having the poor fucking taste to try and kill a man whose greatest threat to society is his filmography.
Now the entire Bollywood clown car is ‘shaken,’ with politicians rushing to his side to comfort a grown man who just failed to get shot in a shooting. The All Indian Cine Workers Association blames gangsters trying to create ‘an atmosphere of fear,’ but the real terror is that this walking haircut gets paid millions to pretend to fight while needing a driver to escape actual combat. An audio clip has some wannabe gangster claiming responsibility, but let’s be honest: the Lawrence Bishnoi gang would have to be run by absolute morons to waste ammunition on a target with less density than a wet paper bag.
This cunt didn’t survive a shooting attempt; he failed a basic test of being a worthwhile target. The only thing ‘serious and condemnable’ here is that we have to read about it.
