The facts
Two Iranian nationals, Rahman S., 34, and Salam A., 36, were remanded in custody by Westminster Magistrates’ Court on Saturday, 3 October 2026, after being charged with plotting attacks on Jewish targets in Manchester. The suspects were detained on 20 September, the eve of Yom Kippur. Prosecutor Mark Luckett said they conducted “hostile reconnaissance” on sites such as the Manchester Jewish Museum and the Heaton Park synagogue and were instructed by a third‑party Iranian national - likely operating from Iran - on how to assemble a homemade explosive using chlorine and brake fluid. Both men arrived in Britain via small boats crossing the English Channel; one has been granted asylum while the other’s application remains pending. Vicki Evans, senior national coordinator of counter‑terror policing, described the plot as isolated with no ongoing public threat and unrelated to a separate suspected plot at RAF Fairford.
Our take
Fuck me sideways, the UK’s asylum system is so porous it’s now letting in the kind of absolute cunts who think brake fluid and pool chemicals are the ingredients for a fucking terrorist bake‑off. These two geniuses, Rahman S. and Salam A., rolled up on a dinghy, got their paperwork sorted - one even got asylum, the cheeky bastard - and immediately started plotting to murder Jews on their holiest day. The prosecutor called their activity “hostile reconnaissance,” which in this case means staring at maps and pictures of the Manchester Jewish Museum like a couple of tourists who forgot their guidebook. Their master plan, according to the court, was to get bomb‑making tips from some other Iranian shitbag back home, a real long‑distance learning course in being a murderous prick. Chlorine and brake fluid. That’s not a sophisticated IED; it’s the stuff you find under the sink of a landlord who won’t fix the mould. These clowns weren’t building a weapon of mass destruction; they were assembling a weapon of mass embarrassment, a device so pathetic it would probably just make everyone within three metres smell like a poorly maintained public pool and then cough a bit. The sheer, staggering vanity of it all. They cross the Channel, get handed a new life by the country they want to attack, and their first thought is to celebrate by trying to build a stink bomb from a YouTube tutorial. It isn’t terrorism; it’s performance art for the criminally stupid. And the best part? Counter‑terror cops have to stand up and say this was an “isolated” plot with no ongoing threat, because admitting that the system is a revolving door for every half‑arsed jihadist with a chemistry set would be a political nightmare. So instead we get the spectacle of the state remanding these two dickheads while countless other identical fuckwits are doubtless already in the queue, waiting for their chance to get asylum and a free lesson in how to be a useless cunt. They’ll face the Old Bailey, but the real trial should be for the idiocy of a border policy that lets this happen and then pats itself on the back for catching the guys who were dumb enough to use online images as their operational security. Absolute shower of bastards, the lot of them.
