The facts
Donald Trump is promoting his agenda ahead of the 2026 midterm elections even though he is not on the ballot. The ads, which aired in September during shows like Saturday Night Live, were marked “paid for by the US government” after the Department of Homeland Security paid an agency $20 million for a “national media campaign.” Public Citizen filed a complaint with the FCC, arguing that federal law prohibits using appropriated funds for partisan political advertising. Professor Patrick Malone of American University said the timing – weeks before the midterms – raises legal concerns, noting that “you’re not supposed to use taxpayer dollars to pay for anything that’s campaign‑related.” Trump also urged supporters to “pretend” he was on the ballot and promised a $5,000 payout to each eligible voter if Republicans kept control of both chambers, a pledge that experts say would require congressional appropriation and likely cannot be funded.
Our take
Donald Trump, a man not running for anything, has turned the Department of Homeland Security into his own personal fucking infomercial channel. Twenty million taxpayer dollars – money that could, say, not be wasted on a bloated, orange has‑been’s ego – were reportedly spent on a “national media campaign” that experts say might violate federal law. Let that sink in: your money is funding this prick’s face time. The DHS, an agency meant to protect the homeland, is now a goddamn PR firm for a grifter with a 32% approval rating. It’s not just corruption; it’s a federal agency being used as a cocksleeve for a political clown’s vanity. What a thieving, shameless cunt. And because questionable ads weren’t enough of a middle finger to the public, this dickhead is also out here promising a $5,000 cash payout to voters if Republicans win. The money doesn’t exist. He’d need Congress – the same body he can’t control – to approve it. He’s basically offering a bounce‑back check written on an account full of piss. It’s a lie so transparent it’s a miracle his followers don’t get papercuts from the bullshit. His entire strategy is a confession of his own pathetic irrelevance. He told supporters to “pretend” he’s on the ballot. Pretend! The core tactic of a campaign for a man who isn’t running is a game of make‑believe. It’s a perfect, sad metaphor: his entire political existence is a fantasy built on other people’s money and his supporters’ willingness to play along with the delusion. He’s a bankrupt carnival barker selling tickets to a show that already closed, funded by a federal agency he’s fucking raw. The sheer, staggering audacity is almost impressive. He’s committing what looks like a felony with your cash, then offering a fake cash prize as the incentive. He’s running a casino where the house is the U.S. Treasury, the game is rigged, and the jackpot is a fucking IOU from a liar. The only thing shittier than this scheme is the fact that anyone still lines up to get pissed on by it. What an absolute, irredeemable prick.
