The facts
President Donald Trump has been promoting Republican candidates by commenting on their physical appearance, according to AP News. At a rally in Kentucky on October 17, Trump referred to House candidate Ed Gallrein as “beautiful” and stated he was “central casting.” During the same event, Trump made remarks about Senator Jon Husted’s physique, describing his backside and detailing his shoulders, feet, hand, and jawline. AP noted that Trump had previously praised Husted’s looks at an earlier rally in Ohio. The news outlet also reported that Trump had criticized the appearance of Texas Republican Ken Paxton at a party convention and compared Democratic candidates James Talarico and Jon Ossoff to fictional characters. Additionally, Trump complimented the looks of Georgia Republican Mike Collins while campaigning for him on Friday.
Our take
Donald Trump has finally found a political platform he can understand: looks. This absolute cunt is out here vetting Republican hopefuls not by their stance on inflation or healthcare, but by the cut of their jib and the firmness of their fucking glutes. At a Kentucky rally, he declared House candidate Ed Gallrein “beautiful” and “central casting,” which in Trump’s limited vocabulary is the highest praise he can muster - somewhere between very fine people and “horseface.” He then proceeded to give Senator Jon Husted a full-body review worthy of a meat-market auctioneer, detailing his shoulders, feet, hand, jawline, and - because why the fuck not - his goddamn backside. What is this, a campaign stop or a Grindr profile workshop? This pathetic, shallow bullshit is what passes for leadership in his mind: reducing the fate of the nation to a series of thirst-trap evaluations. He’s like a horny, senile talent scout for a porn studio that only films insurrections. Remember when he criticized Texas AG Ken Paxton’s appearance? Or compared Democratic opponents to cartoon characters? This narcissistic fuckstick can’t conceive of a person’s value beyond their usefulness as a prop in his own vanity project. He’s campaigning for a Congress that looks like the cast of a bad CW show, because policy is for ugly people. The GOP base is now being asked to vote for the candidate with the best shoulders, not the best ideas. It’s a perfect, stupid metaphor for his entire grift: all surface, no substance, and everyone involved gets fucked in the end. What a prick. And what a bunch of spineless, pretty-faced cowards lining up for his creepy seal of approval. They’re not building a movement; they’re assembling a boy band for the apocalypse, and the lead singer is a bloated, failing dickhead who thinks governance is about finding the shiniest accessories for his own pathetic legacy. Embarrassing, degrading, and utterly predictable - just like him. Cunts, the lot of ‘em. Now, who wants to hear about Mike Collins’s jawline? Fuck off. The only thing getting stiff in this election is the competition for Trump’s wandering, creepy eye. What a shit show. We’re so fucked. Absolute cunts. Every last one.
