The facts
The Associated Press reported on October 18, 2026, that former U.S. President Donald Trump endorsed Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu for reelection less than two weeks before Israel’s October 27 vote. Trump had withheld public support for several months while the two leaders sparred over Iran and Gaza. In an online post, Trump praised Netanyahu’s approach to Iran and warned that the United States might have to step in if Netanyahu were not to win, though he said he was not inclined to do so. Netanyahu thanked Trump in a statement posted on X, and the Likud party shared a short video of the two leaders together. The AP said the impact of the endorsement on the close race was unclear. Earlier in October, when asked by Time about endorsing Netanyahu, Trump said he was no longer involved in politics.
Our take
Well, look at this absolute cunt, crawling out of his golf cart to finally bless his old buddy Bibi with a public kiss. For months, the two of them have been having a silent, petty little dick‑measuring contest over Iran and Gaza, with Trump playing the aloof ex who just can’t bring himself to text back. Then, with less than two weeks before Israelis actually have to vote, this grifter decides to grace the world with his political wisdom, posting some online bullshit that’s about as coherent as a drunk uncle’s toast. He praises Netanyahu’s Iran approach and throws out a vague threat that the United States might have to step in, yet immediately says he isn’t inclined to do so. What a monumental prick. So your big, powerful endorsement comes with the caveat that you’ll do precisely jack shit if it doesn’t work. That’s not support, you coward, that’s just noise for the sake of your own vanity, hoping someone will notice you’re still breathing. And let’s not forget the breathtaking hypocrisy. This asshole told Time just weeks ago that he was no longer involved in politics. Not involved, he said! But here he is, diving headfirst into a foreign election like a horny dolphin at SeaWorld, because the chance to have his name in a headline and see his face in a Likud video was just too tempting. He can’t help himself. The need to feel relevant, to be the center of attention, to pretend he’s still calling the shots from the ninth hole, is a physical addiction worse than his spray‑tan habit. Netanyahu, of course, played the grateful little suck‑up, posting a thank‑you on X because what else is he going to do? The whole pathetic spectacle is a masterclass in self‑serving bullshit. Trump gets to feel like a kingmaker for five minutes, Netanyahu gets a clip for his campaign ads, and the Israeli electorate gets an unwanted, useless, contradictory opinion from a man whose foreign‑policy legacy is a series of unforced errors and photo ops. The AP says the impact is unclear, which is news‑speak for ‘it probably doesn’t mean a goddamn thing except to the two dickheads involved.’ They’re like two aging actors doing a cameo in each other’s straight‑to‑video movies, desperately trying to convince the audience they’re still A‑list. They’re not. They’re just a pair of clowns performing for an empty tent, and the only thing more pathetic than the performance is the fact they think anyone is still buying tickets.






