The facts
Tennessee Titans CEO Burke Nihill apologized to the team's fanbase for the organization's dismal 0-5 start to the season, admitting that the product on the field has not been satisfactory for some time. "The first thing I would say back to the fans is just that we're sorry," Nihill told ESPN on Friday. He conveyed that everyone within the organization feels a sense of responsibility to deliver a better performance and acknowledged that football is meant to be enjoyable for fans, a sentiment that has been lacking. The Titans have struggled offensively, scoring a league-low 11.6 points per game, despite a defense that ranks tied for 11th in the NFL by allowing 21.8 points per game. Nihill stated his belief in head coach Robert Saleh and general manager Mike Borgonzi, expressing confidence that they will lead the team back to competitive football. The team has lost 33 of their last 39 games and is on a seven-game losing streak dating back to last season. The Titans are scheduled to play the Indianapolis Colts on Sunday, hoping to secure their first win of the season.
Our take
Burke Nihill, the absolute fucking cunt in charge of the Tennessee Titans, has decided that after his organization has managed to lose 33 of its last 39 games, the appropriate response is to say 'sorry.' What a bold fucking stance. The team is 0-5, scoring a pathetic 11.6 points per game, and the only thing this prick can muster is a public mea culpa that sounds like it was drafted by a fucking intern after a three-martini lunch. 'The product on the field has not been good for a while,' he allegedly said. No shit, Sherlock. The product on the field hasn't been 'good' in the same way that a flaming bag of dog shit on your porch isn't a 'welcoming gift.'
This sorry-ass apology is the management equivalent of pissing on a forest fire and calling it rain. Nihill had the gall to express his unwavering confidence in head coach Robert Saleh and general manager Mike Borgonzi, the two geniuses who have expertly steered this ship into a fucking iceberg. He 'believes they will eventually turn the team's fortunes around.' Based on what, you dickhead? The innovative strategy of scoring fewer points than a Pop Warner team? The masterful roster construction that has yielded a seven-game losing streak? This is the confidence of a man who would bet his house on a three-legged horse because he likes the color of its jockey's silks.
Let's be clear: this 'apology' is a coward's move. It's a cheap attempt to absorb fan rage with a few soft words while changing absolutely fuck-all about the operation. The defense is halfway decent, which means the offense is so catastrophically bad it makes watching paint dry look like a fucking thrill ride. Nihill acknowledges football is 'meant to be enjoyable for fans.' Wow, what a revelation. Next he'll tell us water is wet and that getting repeatedly kicked in the balls by a losing franchise is a suboptimal experience. The only thing more embarrassing than the Titans' performance is this limp-dick, corporate PR bullshit masquerading as accountability. They're not sorry they're bad; they're sorry you noticed. Now go buy a ticket for Sunday's game, you suckers.
