The facts
The Federal Reserve's inspector general stated on Wednesday that the agency broadly mismanaged an expansive building renovation project, but did not uncover any criminal violations, contrary to allegations made by Trump administration prosecutors. According to the IG's 120-page report, a variety of missteps by the Fed's Board of Governors inflated the cost of the $2.4 billion renovation. The board failed to secure a comprehensive cost estimate at the project's outset and did not establish a maximum overall cost, which could have compelled the contractor to absorb inflation impacts. Construction prices increased significantly after the project began in 2022. The report noted, "Our review found that the Board has not effectively managed and executed its ... contract and repeatedly deviated from its cost-management provisions." Former Chair Jerome Powell had requested the IG's review last year. The investigation into potential perjury by Powell related to the renovation, initiated by Trump's Justice Department, was dropped in April. The IG's report concluded, "At no point during our evaluation did we find reasonable grounds to believe that a violation of federal criminal law had occurred requiring a referral to the U.S. Attorney General." Construction costs for renovating two Fed buildings more than doubled from an initial estimate of $921 million in February 2020 to $2.018 billion by December 2024, with completion now expected in December 2027, past the original mid-2024 target.
Our take
Let's get this straight: the Federal Reserve Board of Governors, the pricks who lecture the entire country on fiscal responsibility, just got a 120-page report card proving they can't manage a fucking Home Depot run. They embarked on a 'comprehensive' renovation - a fancy term for 'fixing the toilets and maybe some drywall' - with a starting guess of 921 million dollars. That's not a plan; that's a wish you make on a birthday candle after three bourbons. These absolute cunts didn't secure a final cost estimate. They didn't set a maximum price. They basically told the contractor, 'Surprise us!' and then acted shocked when the surprise was a bill for over 2 billion dollars. It's like asking a chef to cook you dinner without a menu and then weeping when he serves you gold-leaf-wrapped lobster on a solid platinum plate. The report says they 'repeatedly deviated' from their own cost rules. Deviated? They took those provisions out back, shot them in the head, and used the paper to wipe their collective ass. The sheer, galaxy-brained stupidity of not establishing a maximum cost for a multi-billion-dollar project is the kind of move that gets you fired from a lemonade stand. But not at the Fed. At the Fed, it gets you a sternly worded PDF.
And the timing! These dickheads started in 2022, right when every fucker with a toolbelt and a truck was tripling their rates. The entire planet knew construction costs were going vertical, but the Fed's economic oracles, the wizards who supposedly predict inflation for a living, gazed into their crystal balls and saw... absolutely nothing. They let the contractor off the hook for inflation impacts because they never bothered to write a clause that said 'you eat the cost overruns, buddy.' It's the most expensive 'whoopsie' in the history of government procurement. The project's now slated to finish in December 2027, years late, meaning they're managing a renovation at a pace that makes continental drift look like a Formula 1 race. They're not building the fucking pyramids; they're updating some offices, and it's taking longer than a Supreme Court justice's lifetime appointment.
The cherry on this shit sundae is the inspector general's solemn conclusion that no crimes were committed. Of course there weren't! The law, in its infinite wisdom, hasn't yet figured out how to criminalize being a pack of vainglorious, wallet-emptying clowns. The Trump-era prosecutors who floated a perjury investigation into Jerome Powell were chasing ghosts, because you can't indict someone for the felony of being a useless, overpaid bureaucrat. The IG found no 'reasonable grounds' for a criminal referral. That's the real story here: you can burn through 2.4 billion dollars of institutional credibility and cash with the managerial skill of a concussed raccoon, and the worst you get is a report saying you're a fuck-up. It's not illegal to be this bad at your job. It's just a prerequisite for running the place. They'll finish the buildings eventually, and the only lasting monument will be this report, a permanent testament to how you can be a total bastard with a budget and face precisely zero consequences.
