The facts
Christa Pike, a death row inmate in Tennessee, was placed on a ventilator and remained unconscious in a hospital following a failed execution attempt on Wednesday, according to a court filing by her attorneys on Friday. Hospital staff were reportedly working to save Pike's life and attempting to clear the two doses of pentobarbital administered. Her lawyers believe issues with IV lines caused the drug to flow incorrectly, potentially into her body rather than her bloodstream, and that the execution team did not recognize the problem. They allege that instead of addressing the failure, a second dose was administered. State officials have not commented.
Our take
Let's get this straight, you absolute fucking clowns. The State of Tennessee, armed with the power to end a human life, managed to fuck it up so spectacularly that they nearly killed Christa Pike by accident. Her attorneys say the execution team, a collection of presumably licensed medical professionals or at least people who have seen a vein on TV, couldn’t manage the basic task of sticking a needle in the right hole. Instead of hitting a blood vessel, these dickheads allegedly pumped two doses of pentobarbital into her body tissue. That’s not an execution; that’s a botched science fair project conducted by people who think an IV line is something you wait in at Disneyland. They didn’t just fail. They failed, then looked at their failure, shrugged their pathetic little shoulders, and administered a second dose into the same meaty mess. It’s the lethal injection equivalent of trying to fix a flat tire by slashing the other three. Now Pike is unconscious on a ventilator, and hospital staff are trying to save her from the state’s murderous incompetence. You have to be a special kind of stupid to almost kill someone while trying to kill them on purpose. Governor Bill Lee’s response is to order an independent review and hit pause, which is the political version of saying 'oopsie-daisy' after driving a bus into an orphanage. This isn’t a surprise. Four years ago, a review found Tennessee wasn’t even following its own rules, executing people without proper drug testing. So this isn’t a one-off mistake by a sad little bastard having a bad day. This is institutional, state-sanctioned negligence wrapped in a flag and called justice. They can’t even be competent fascists. They’re just amateurs with a death warrant and a syringe full of who-the-fuck-knows. Pike’s lawyers are now begging a court to preserve the evidence, because in Tennessee, the only thing more dangerous than a convicted murderer is the government employee holding the needle. The whole apparatus is a rancid, malfunctioning cunt of a system, more concerned with checking the box marked 'killed' than with doing it without torturing someone to death on the taxpayer’s dime. They turned a death sentence into a medical emergency through sheer, unadulterated piss-poor skill. Bravo, you worthless assholes. May your review find that you all need to go back to fucking kindergarten.
