The facts
Donald Trump, speaking to reporters on Friday, stated that he had not "jumped the gun" by announcing South Korea's agreement to fund a $54bn Alaska natural gas pipeline. This announcement on Wednesday had been contradicted by a South Korean official who said the country had only agreed to "initiate a review" of the potential investment. Trump responded to the contradiction by saying, "Let's see if they don't want to do it. That's okay with me. I'll just charge them more." He further threatened, "Tell them if they don't sign shortly, I'm going to double it up, okay?" Trump reiterated his incorrect assertion that tariffs are paid by exporting countries, rather than by US importers, a point previously clarified by the US Supreme Court. During his rally in Alabama, Trump also claimed his second term is "the most successful presidency in history," despite reports of economic anxiety and his ongoing conflict with Iran. He also repeated debunked claims about media blame for inflation and a fabricated story about the Saudi king praising his economic policies.
Our take
Donald Trump, the world’s most easily triggered dealmaker, is having another one of his little bitch fits. This time, he’s threatening to economically pants South Korea because they had the fucking audacity to point out that his big, beautiful announcement about them funding a $54 billion Alaska pipeline was, in fact, a load of bullshit. He said they agreed. They said they’d ‘initiate a review.’ That’s the difference between ‘I do’ and ‘I’ll think about it,’ you absolute clown. But our stable genius doesn’t do nuance, he does tantrums. So his response to being called a liar was to puff out his little chest and threaten to ‘double’ the tariffs on them if they don’t sign his fantasy document ‘shortly.’
Let’s unpack this masterpiece of diplomatic cuntery. First, he’s trying to extort an ally into bankrolling a project that’s about as real as his hairline, because he can’t stand the idea that anyone might remember he got a fact wrong. It’s the geopolitical equivalent of a toddler threatening to hold his breath until you agree his mud pie is a five-star meal. Second, this prick still doesn’t understand how tariffs work. He reiterated his brain-dead belief that the exporting country pays, a fantasy so detached from reality that even the Supreme Court had to tell him to shut the fuck up. He’s threatening to weaponize a tax he thinks other people pay, which is like threatening to punch yourself in the dick if your neighbor doesn’t mow your lawn.
All this bluster came as he was leaving to go lie to a rally in Alabama, where he also claimed his second term is the ‘most successful presidency in history’ while the economy shudders and he picks fights with Iran. He’s a walking, talking contradiction machine, spewing debunked shit about the media causing inflation and making up stories about the Saudi king sucking his economic dick. The whole pathetic spectacle is just a vanity project for a man whose entire identity is built on never being wrong, even when he’s provably, laughably, catastrophically full of shit. He’d rather torch an alliance and threaten a trade war than admit he maybe, possibly, jumped the gun on a $54 billion deal he pulled out of his ass. What a fucking dickhead.
