The facts
The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) closed its investigation into Gildan Activewear SRL and S&S Holdings LLC after the two parties amended a partnership agreement that had barred Gildan from offering certain pricing and discounts to competitors of S&S. The FTC had examined possible violations of Section 2(a) of the Robinson‑Patman Act, which prohibits price discrimination that harms competition, and Section 2(f), which bars knowingly inducing such discrimination. The revised contract now states that nothing in the agreement restricts Gildan’s discretion to set prices or provide partnership support to any other North American wholesale distributor. FTC Bureau of Competition Director Daniel Guarnera said the agency will enforce the law when large firms try to insulate themselves from competition, noting that such practices hurt small businesses and consumers. The action follows a recent RPA settlement with Southern Glazer’s Wine and Spirits, the first RPA case resolved by a federal agency in more than two decades.
Our take
Well, well, well. Two corporate pricks thought they could write a ‘fuck you’ into a legal contract and have it stick. Gildan Activewear and S&S Holdings drafted a deal that basically said Gildan wasn’t allowed to offer a better price or a fucking discount to any other distributor in North America. That’s not a partnership, you greedy cunts - it’s a hostage situation for the entire wholesale t‑shirt market. They tried to build a private club with a velvet rope made of legal bullshit, and the FTC just kicked the fucking door in. The sheer, bald‑faced audacity to think you can legally ban competitive pricing is the kind of shit that gets you laughed out of business school, yet these assholes thought it was worth a shot. When the FTC sniffed around Section 2(a) and 2(f) of the Robinson‑Patman Act - laws so dusty they might as well be written on parchment - the titans of industry folded. They scrambled to amend their ‘masterpiece’ agreement to say, whoopsie‑daisy, the contract does NOT restrict Gildan’s pricing discretion. No shit, Sherlock. The original clause was a paper tiger, a pathetic attempt at market rigging that dissolved the second a government lawyer glanced at it. Guarnera then popped up to give the usual speech about protecting small businesses, the bureaucratic equivalent of a parent saying ‘I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed,’ but with the power to fuck your whole quarter up. This case is the second recent RPA enforcement, showing how long such price‑fixing fuckery has gone unchecked. The final humiliation is in the new contract language itself: it explicitly negates the old, illegal clause. It reads, ‘We tried to cheat, and we got caught.’ The investigation is closed, and all they have to show for it is a neutered contract and the public knowledge that their big‑brain scheme was as sturdy as a wet paper bag. Congratulations, you absolute clowns. You played yourselves.
