The facts
The U.S. Supreme Court has agreed to hear an appeal in a lawsuit filed by Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) seeking records from DOGE. CREW contends that DOGE functions as a federal agency and is therefore subject to the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA). The Trump administration, however, argued that DOGE is a presidential advisory body exempt from FOIA, asserting that disclosure could compromise the autonomy and confidentiality of advisers. Lower courts had previously ruled in favor of CREW. In June 2025, the Supreme Court had already limited a district court's order for disclosure in the same case. The court's agreement to hear arguments does not resolve the central question of whether the requested records fall under FOIA.
Our take
Well, fuck me sideways, the Supreme Court is once again spending its precious time deciding whether the public gets to know what the fuck its own government is doing. This time, it’s about DOGE - no, not the dogshit crypto, but the presidential advisory body that apparently operates with all the transparency of a mob boss's colon. The Trump administration argued that letting the sun shine in on these pricks would ‘compromise autonomy.’ Translation: We’d really prefer you didn’t see us wiping our dicks on the Constitution, thank you very much. These cowardly fucks treat public records like they’re state secrets, because god forbid anyone learns how the sausages - or the grifts - are made. The lower courts, with a shocking burst of common sense, told CREW they were right. But oh no, that’s not good enough for the highest court in the land, which already stepped in once last June to slow-roll the whole process. Now they’re going to have a whole fucking hearing about it, dragging out the question of whether a group that exists solely to whisper in the president’s ear counts as a ‘federal agency.’ Spoiler alert, you absolute cunts: If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and is funded by the taxpayer like a duck, it’s a fucking federal duck. The sheer, staggering vanity of needing nine robes to debate whether ‘advisers’ should be allowed to operate in a black box is a testament to how deeply the rot has set in. It’s a glorified book club for rich assholes, and they want to keep the minutes locked in a vault, lest we peasants see the doodles in the margins. The Court agreeing to hear this is a giant middle finger to anyone who gives a single shit about accountability, and a wet, sloppy kiss to every power-hungry dickhead who thinks the rules are for little people. Justice delayed is justice denied, and this is a masterclass in denial. What a pathetic, self-important circle jerk. End of fucking story.
