The facts
On March 30, 2026, the Media Bureau of the Federal Communications Commission issued a “public notice” about the FCC’s lowest unit charge requirements, the favorable rates broadcasters must charge for campaign advertisements in the weeks before elections under 47 U.S.C. 315(b)(1)(A). The notice said political candidates, joint fundraising committees with noncandidate members, and political parties engaged in coordinated political activity are entitled to the lowest unit charge.
Four candidates for Congress, with Sherrod Brown as the lead respondent in the case caption, filed an application for review with the FCC arguing that only political candidates are entitled to the charge and asking the full Commission to set aside the notice as unlawful. Two months later, while their application was still pending before the Commission, they filed a petition for review in the Fourth Circuit. A divided panel decided it had jurisdiction, granted the petition, and set aside the notice.
On September 4, 2026, the Supreme Court stayed the Fourth Circuit’s decision, explaining that the Communications Act “makes clear” the Commission must resolve an application for review by order before an aggrieved party may seek further review in federal court, and noting the Fourth Circuit’s contrary holding split with every other circuit to have considered the issue.
On October 7, 2026, the same Fourth Circuit panel ordered the Commission to resolve the candidates’ application by October 9, 2026, giving the agency 48 hours. The order came one week after the Commission’s comment period on the application had closed, and in the middle of another comment period for a parallel application the Commission was considering in tandem. The mandamus order was administratively stayed on October 8. On October 14, the Supreme Court granted the stay in a per curiam opinion: a writ of mandamus is a “‘drastic and extraordinary’ remedy ‘reserved for really extraordinary causes.’” The Communications Act requires the Commission to act on every application it receives, but it does not obligate the Commission to act within a particular timeframe. And the system of separation of powers does not allow the judiciary to meddle in “the workings of a coordinate branch of the Government”. Justices Sotomayor and Jackson would have denied the applications.
Our take
Let’s get this straight: Sherrod Brown and his little band of congressional hopefuls are so fucking desperate for cheaper TV ads that they’ve now been bitch-slapped by the Supreme Court twice in six weeks. That’s not a legal strategy; that’s the judicial equivalent of a toddler screaming for a cookie after already being told ‘no’ and having it taken off the fucking high chair tray.
The first time, the Court politely explained that the law says you have to let the FCC finish its paperwork before you run crying to a federal court. Every other circuit court in the country understood this. The Fourth Circuit panel, in its infinite wisdom, decided to be the special little snowflake and grant the petition anyway. The Supreme Court stayed that shit in September, essentially saying, ‘Sit the fuck down and let the agency do its job.’
So what did these pricks do? They waddled back to the same panel of appellate clowns who’d already jerked them off once. And those absolute fucking heroes of judicial overreach issued a writ of mandamus, giving the FCC 48 hours to rule. Not days to think, but 48 hours to finish deliberating on a case where the public comment period hadn’t even fucking closed on a related filing. It’s like demanding a chef plate your steak while the cow is still mooing in the field.
The Supreme Court’s per curiam response this week is a masterpiece of understated ‘fuck you.’ They quote precedent calling mandamus a ‘drastic and extraordinary’ remedy, which this petty, whiny quest for campaign ad discounts transparently is not. They point out that the law doesn’t set a deadline for the FCC, and that the judiciary can’t just stick its dick into the workings of a coordinate branch because some politicians are impatient. The separation of powers isn’t a suggestion you ignore when you want a regulatory fast-pass.
Two losses. One lawsuit. The same panel of Fourth Circuit dickheads keeps handing Brown a loaded gun, and the Supreme Court keeps calmly taking it away before he can shoot his own foot off again. If this legal team files a third emergency application, the Court should just respond with a single link to a calendar and a picture of a crying clown.
