The facts
The Senate confirmed Keith Sonderling as Labor secretary by a 47-41 vote on Wednesday, October 1, 2026, shortly before lawmakers left Washington to campaign for the midterms. Sonderling had been acting secretary since April and previously served in several department roles, including deputy secretary. President Donald Trump chose him after the White House announced Lori Chavez-DeRemer would leave for a private-sector job; her departure followed multiple allegations that she abused her position. Sen. Bill Cassidy stated that Sonderling was qualified and expressed expectations that he would protect workers, assist businesses in job creation, and help workers adapt to AI-driven changes. Democrats opposed his confirmation, citing administration policies, including the Labor Department's management of certain Education Department grants. During Sonderling's confirmation hearing, Sen. Patty Murray voiced concerns that he might reduce overtime protections and weaken unions.
Our take
Well, fuck me sideways with a gavel. The United States Senate, that august collection of self-important pricks, finally managed to do the bare minimum of governance: confirming a goddamn Labor Secretary. And they only did it because they were about to sprint out the door to go grovel for campaign cash. They couldn’t leave the department headless, could they? That might look bad. Better to just jam through Keith Fucking Sonderling, a man whose entire qualification appears to be that he’s already been sitting in the big chair since April. What a heroic journey - from deputy secretary to acting secretary to… secretary. It’s the bureaucratic equivalent of moving your ass from one cushion on the couch to the slightly warmer one your dog just vacated.
Senator Bill Cassidy gargled some bullshit about Sonderling being “qualified” and expecting him to help workers adapt to AI. Right. This is the Trump administration. The only adaptation they want from workers is adapting to getting fucked over with a smile. Patty Murray had the right idea, voicing concerns this dickhead would gut overtime and kneecap unions. But did anyone listen? Of course not. They had a plane to catch.
Let’s not forget the glorious context here. The job only opened up because the last lady, Lori Chavez-DeRemer, fucked off to the private sector after multiple allegations she was abusing her authority. So the bar was set at not currently under investigation for blatant corruption. Sonderling cleared it! Give the man a medal. A participation trophy for showing up and not being the previous catastrophic fuck-up.
So here we are. The world’s greatest deliberative body deliberated just long enough to check their watches, piss out a narrow party-line vote, and confirm a human placeholder so they can all run home and pretend to care about the little people they just left with a department led by a man whose biggest achievement is having been there already. What a proud day for American democracy. It’s enough to make you want to swallow a whole bottle of aspirin and call it a career.
