The facts
A 28-year-old female laboratory technician at the Irkutsk Research Anti-Plague Institute of Siberia, in the town of Shelekhov, died after being diagnosed with pneumonia of “unknown” origin, according to Rospotrebnadzor, the Russian agency that handles infectious disease. Local media named her as Darya Shipilova.
Rospotrebnadzor played down any link between her death and her work: “No micro-organisms associated with the employee’s professional duties were detected in samples taken from the patient,” it asserted, calling the region’s “epidemiological situation” stable. Nevertheless, the agency’s head, Anna Popova, traveled to Irkutsk on Friday for what the local governor, Igor Kobzev, described as an extraordinary meeting of the regional anti-epidemic commission, convened over a “suspected case of a particularly dangerous infection affecting a resident of the region”
The hospital where the worker was treated placed its inpatient facility under quarantine, and several departments stopped discharging or admitting patients; other hospitals in the region closed, according to local media. Unofficial reports, including by the independent regional outlet Liudi Baikala, say nearly 200 people are under observation. An aluminum plant near the laboratory told staff to wear masks. The institute itself told CNN it was not commenting.
The Kremlin’s message: “One should rely on official statements from Rospotrebnadzor rather than listening to various rumors and speculation,” spokesman Dmitry Peskov said Monday. The World Health Organization said it was in contact with Russian health authorities and that “Based on unofficial information available, the public health risk to the general population appears to be low,” it said Kyrgyzstan, some 1,500 miles from Irkutsk, announced quarantine controls at its border crossings anyway.
US Secretary of State Marco Rubio said Monday: “I don’t think it’s cause for alarm, but it is cause for focus and a cause to just keep an eye on it,” Rubio said Monday A State Department spokesperson added: “Many details have not been confirmed. We encourage Russian authorities to share accurate information quickly and openly.” The head of neighboring Buryatia, Alexei Tsydenov, said the employee died “possibly from the plague,” Tsydenov said A former head of Rospotrebnadzor, Gennady Onishchenko, said the infection was “most likely not the plague, but even if confirmed, there will be no spread of this disease,” Onishchenko said
Our take
Let's get this straight, you absolute fucking cunts. The one building in Siberia whose entire job description is 'don't let the plague escape' has just had a 28-year-old lab tech die inside it from a mysterious pneumonia. And the Russian government's response is a masterclass in pathological, dickhead-level bullshit.
First, Rospotrebnadzor, the agency that should be pissing its pants, issues a statement so hilariously detached from reality it belongs in a clown's ass. They claim no work-related bugs were found and the situation is 'stable.' Meanwhile, their own boss, Anna Popova, is on a fucking plane to Irkutsk for an 'extraordinary' emergency meeting about a 'suspected case of a particularly dangerous infection.' You don't fly across Siberia for a stable situation, you lying bastards. You fly across Siberia because your plague shop just shit the bed.
So what's the stable situation? The hospital is under quarantine. Other hospitals are closed. Nearly 200 people are under observation because some independent outlet had the balls to report it. An aluminum plant near the lab is telling workers to mask up. But sure, everything's fine. It's the epidemiological equivalent of a building being on fire while the fire chief stands outside insisting it's just a cozy glow.
The Kremlin's spokesman, Dmitry Peskov, then waddles out to tell everyone to 'rely on official statements' and not 'rumors.' This is the same government that couldn't find its own ass with both hands and a map during a pandemic. Their official statement is a steaming pile of contradictory shit, and they have the gall to call anyone questioning it a rumor-monger. It's like a arsonist telling you to only listen to his report that the smoke is just morning mist.
Then we get the galaxy-brained takes from the former agency head, Gennady Onishchenko. This prick says the infection is 'most likely not the plague, but even if confirmed, there will be no spread.' Read that sentence and let it marinate in the stupidity. It's not the plague, but if it is, it's a polite plague that knows its place. This isn't science; it's a fucking bedtime story for germophobes. He's negotiating with a microbe like it's a reasonable tenant.
The funniest part is watching everyone else react to this shitshow. Kyrgyzstan, 1,500 miles away, is slapping up quarantine controls. Because when Russia says 'trust us,' smart countries start building walls. Even the U.S. State Department, in its most diplomatic 'what the fuck' tone, is 'encouraging' Russia to share information 'quickly and openly.' They know that in Putin's Russia, 'openly' means after they've buried the evidence in a Siberian permafrost grave.
So here we are. A woman is dead. A plague institute has failed its one job. The state's response is a cascade of lies, panic measures disguised as calm, and a command to ignore the smell of burning bureaucracy. It's a fucking disgrace, and everyone involved is a cowardly, vainglorious asshole covering their tracks with official-sounding bullshit.
