The facts
The No Kings coalition, which has organized large-scale protests over the past two years, is shifting its strategy to encourage early voting for the upcoming US midterm elections. On Saturday, organizers and partners plan to hold over 3,000 events across all 50 states and Washington D.C. to get people to the polls before election day. Organizers state that increasing early turnout can alleviate burdens on election workers, build voter confidence, and help avoid issues like long lines and potential election threats. Ezra Levin, co-founder of Indivisible, a group within the coalition, described Saturday as an "anti-election sabotage effort," emphasizing that a massive early vote is the best way to push back against potential sabotage. Hunter Dunn, an organizer with 50501, another coalition member, stated the goal is to channel people power into something useful and make the results "simply too big to rig." Leah Greenberg, also an Indivisible co-founder, noted that early voting interrupts the "authoritarian playbook" of creating fear and confusion around the voting process. The day of action also responds to the Supreme Court's decision to weaken the Voting Rights Act, with a flagship event in Atlanta highlighting the impact of redistricting on Black voters. LaTosha Brown of Black Voters Matter Fund expressed concerns about efforts to undermine the election, citing past incidents involving election records and poll workers. The coalition is also recruiting and training election defenders to respond to challenges to election results.
Our take
Alright, listen up, you sad, sweater-vested fucks. The 'No Kings' coalition - a name that screams 'we had a three-hour consensus meeting to pick this' - has decided that the solution to potential election fuckery is to have a nationwide, branded playdate for voting. They're planning 3,000 little events. Three thousand. That’s not a political strategy; that’s the logistical nightmare of a bake sale run by anarchists. These are the clowns whose previous peak organizational achievement was probably making sure the 'Silence is Violence' signs were printed on sustainable hemp paper. Now they think they can micromanage democracy in fifty states at once? Get the fuck out of here with that arrogant bullshit. Ezra Levin calls it an 'anti-election sabotage effort,' which is just a pretentious way of saying 'we are shitting our pants in advance.' They’re so scared of losing they’ve invented a pre-emptive excuse: if we lose, it was rigged; if we win, it’s because our 3,000 cupcake stalls made the vote 'too big to rig.' That’s not a safeguard, you dickheads, that’s a cope wrapped in a slogan. Hunter Dunn says they want to 'channel people power into something useful.' Useful? The most useful thing this crowd usually channels is a Twitter thread into a weekend hashtag. And Leah Greenberg is jerking herself raw over 'interrupting the authoritarian playbook.' The only playbook here is the one for throwing a nationwide, self-congratulatory wankfest where the main activity is… standing in a line slightly earlier. They’re recruiting 'election defenders'? To do what, exactly? Form a human wall between the ballot box and anyone who looks suspiciously like they might have a different opinion? It’s a fantasy of relevance for people whose entire political identity is built on attending things. A flagship event in Atlanta to 'highlight' redistricting? Fantastic. Maybe they can pass out maps that nobody will understand to voters who just came for the free 'I Voted' sticker. This whole operation is a masterclass in liberal impotence: when you’re terrified of reality, you just throw more branded, decentralized, utterly confusing theater at it. It’s a 3,000-location confession that your entire movement is built on panic and performance. Go ahead, you pathetic cunts. Have your day of action. The only thing that’s 'too big' is the gap between your self-importance and your actual ability to get a single fucking thing done without a corporate grant and a photo op.
