The facts
The National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) filed a federal lawsuit on Friday in Ohio federal court against Governor Mike DeWine after he signed an executive order allowing state universities to let athletes who graduated high school in 2022 compete for a fifth season. The order directly challenges the NCAA’s eligibility rule that bars athletes who have already played four seasons. NCAA President Charlie Baker called the suit an “extraordinary step” intended to keep competition on a level playing field and said DeWine’s order would give Ohio schools an “unfair, unprecedented and unwarranted competitive advantage.” The lawsuit alleges DeWine is trying to give Ohio athletes a “hall pass” from NCAA rules. The Ohio Supreme Court has said it will review the legality of the order, and the court has paused a related appeals-court ruling while briefs are filed. The NCAA previously sued a governor in the early 1990s, prevailing against Nevada Gov. Bob Miller over a state law affecting due-process protections.
Our take
Well, look at this fucking guy. Governor Mike DeWine decided to play fantasy athletic director with his entire state, scribbling an executive order that basically hands Ohio schools a cheat code to keep their best players for an extra year. The NCAA, which is usually a bureaucratic sack of shit, is somehow the voice of reason here, forced to take the “extraordinary step” of suing some smug prick who thinks the rulebook is a fucking suggestion box. Baker said DeWine is trying to make it “impossible” to have a level field. No shit, Charlie. The governor is trying to turn the Big Ten into the Big Fucking Ohio Advantage League. His order is a hall pass, alright – a hall pass straight to the principal’s office for being a grasping, myopic asshole who thinks state borders are magic force fields that nullify national agreements. It’s the most pathetic, transparent bit of hometown hucksterism since selling swamp land. He didn’t solve the opioid crisis or fix the schools, but by God, he’ll make sure a 23-year-old who graduated high school in 2022 can run one more slant route for the Buckeyes. What a legacy, you pandering clown. The NCAA will probably win, because even a broken, corrupt clock is right twice a day when the alternative is letting every tin-pot state executive pretend they’re the fucking commissioner. This isn’t governance; it’s a toddler throwing a tantrum because he wants his team to win. Grow the fuck up, DeWine. You’re the governor, not the goddamned water boy. Act like it, you petty, grandstanding cunt. The only thing you’ve leveled is any remaining respect for your office. Congrats, dickhead. Your trophy is in the mail: it’s a subpoena. Enjoy the discovery process, you absolute fraud. Fuck your hall pass. Try passing a budget that doesn’t suck ass for a change. Asshole.
