The facts
Newly released National Archives files reveal that MI5 opened a personal file on Labour MP Aneurin “Nye” Bevan in 1933 due to concerns about his connections with communists. The security service monitored him for over two decades, continuing even after he became a minister in the postwar government that established the NHS. In 1949, MI5’s director general alerted Prime Minister Clement Attlee about Bevan’s reported friendship with Wilfred Macartney, who had been convicted of spying for Russia. Attlee dismissed Macartney’s claims as untrue but agreed to warn Bevan. The files indicate that some officials questioned MI5’s involvement, with one noting that Bevan’s parliamentary statements were already public. Another MI5 officer reviewed the file after Bevan’s death in 1960 and described it as “remarkably tame” considering Bevan’s controversial nature. The file was eventually closed in 1975, 15 years after Bevan’s death.
Our take
For over twenty years, the titanic brains of MI5 dedicated precious national security resources to monitoring Aneurin Bevan. Their earth-shattering conclusion, reached only after the man was fucking dead? His file was “remarkably tame.” No shit, you absolute clowns. You spent decades watching a politician do his job - give public speeches, advocate for policies, and, most shockingly, have friends - and you’re surprised the dossier isn’t a thriller? You might as well have filed a report on the weather being weather.
The whole operation was a masterclass in state-funded stupidity. They buzzed around Bevan like a pissed-off wasp for years, even after he was a minister building the NHS, because he knew a guy who knew a guy. They finally bothered the Prime Minister with this groundbreaking intel, and Clement Attlee, a man not known for his explosive rhetoric, basically told them it was bullshit. Yet the spook cunts kept filing their reports. What were they logging? Subject attended a meeting and spoke at it. Again. Fucking riveting.
The most pathetic part is the bureaucrat who, fifteen years after Bevan croaked, dusted off this monument to wasted time and declared it ‘tame.’ You don’t say, you useless prick. The only scandal here is the staggering number of taxpayer-funded man-hours burned to produce a file so dull it could cure insomnia. It’s the administrative equivalent of digging a hole, staring into it for two decades, and then writing a memo saying, ‘Yep, it’s a hole.’
This isn’t security; it’s a hall-of-fame example of institutional dickheadery. MI5 proved itself capable of sustained, willful boredom, mistaking a politician’s entire public life for a subversive plot. They were the only ones plotting anything: a decades-long scheme to avoid doing anything useful. The file should be stamped ‘CUNTS AT WORK’ and used as a training manual for how to be a waste of space.”
