The facts
Manchester City head coach Enzo Maresca told his players to stay focused and positive as they trained together for the first time since the Premier League found the club guilty of the majority of 115 charges relating to the use of “sham” contracts that concealed more than £830 million in secret funding. The squad’s international players returned to training on Thursday, nine days after the league’s damning report was published. BBC Sport noted that Maresca would address the team after most of the squad had been on international duty. Striker Erling Haaland echoed the manager’s message, saying the fans will have a good time on Sunday and urging everyone to stick together, stay positive and enjoy the game.
Our take
Enzo Maresca, the fucking corporate cheerleader holding the manager’s clipboard at Manchester City, has apparently decided his primary job is not tactics but therapy. His squad, fresh from learning their employer stands accused of running an £830 million sham‑contract laundering scheme, needed a firm hand. And that hand patted them on the head and told them to think happy thoughts. Don’t let the 115‑charge crisis ‘affect your attitude’, lads. Just ignore the fact your workplace is a financial crime scene and get back to kicking the ball. What a brave, principled stance from a leadership team that clearly gives zero shits about the sport’s integrity, so long as the trophies keep coming. This is the moral compass of a parking meter. Erling Haaland, a man paid a king’s ransom by this alleged scheme, chimed in with the deep insight of a motivational poster found in a dentist’s office: “No matter what happens in life, we always have to smile.” Brilliant. Your club is accused of the most systematic cheating in English football history, but remember to grin like a simpleton. “The fans will have a good time on Sunday.” Sure they will, Erling. They get to watch a team built on what independent regulators call “sham” contracts. What a fucking joy. The whole circus is a masterclass in arrogant detachment. Maresca isn’t coaching a football team; he’s a babysitter for the most expensive, ethically‑vacant daycare in sport, urging his charges to stay positive as the fucking walls close in. Smile through the fraud, boys. It’s the City way.
