The facts
An Associated Press review of state records found that Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton left nearly 730 workdays blank on his official calendars and took more than 275 out-of-state trips to places like California wine country, Caribbean resorts and European tourism hot spots. The travel cost Texas taxpayers a minimum of $1.9 million to cover his security detail, and the AP reports it is unclear how Paxton financed much of his own share.
Paxton announced his Senate campaign on Fox News, cleared his calendar, and booked a hotel in Augusta, Georgia, during the Masters golf tournament, a trip that cost taxpayers at least $25,000. The blank days piled up as his profile rose: more than 90 blank workdays in 2021, up to 112 in 2024. Reimbursements for his security detail's out-of-state travel spiked from about $30,000 in 2015 to nearly $400,000 in 2024.
Then there is California. Texas conservatives, Paxton included, treat the state as a punching bag, and “Don’t California My Texas” is Gov. Greg Abbott’s favorite slogan. That did not stop Paxton from taking roughly 25 trips to California at a taxpayer cost of about $180,000. “I don’t like to admit that I go to California. But it’s beautiful,” Paxton said on a podcast last November. He visited Northern California wine country at least five times; one 2024 visit cost the public more than $14,000, including $436 at Mammoth Rock Restaurant, a French-inspired brasserie serving escargot and duck confit.
His office’s defense: calendar entries do not “capture someone’s full workday, including hours of calls, negotiations, case strategy, and briefings with his team that fill every day.” The office says he travels with a security detail because he faces threats “stemming from his courageous work ... fighting on behalf of the people of Texas,” and that “His schedule is built to be immediately responsive to the most pressing issues in order to best serve Texans,” For context, Paxton was investigated by the FBI without being charged, paid restitution to settle felony securities charges without admitting guilt, and was impeached, then acquitted, by fellow Republicans on accusations of abusing his office and accepting bribes. Former deputy Mark Penley told impeachment investigators: “He was gone a lot, he was traveling, he was out,” As UT’s Joshua Blank put it: “There is clearly a pattern of behavior here that may make some voters question how seriously Ken Paxton has taken the job,”
Our take
Seven hundred and thirty blank workdays. That's not a scheduling gap, you absolute cunt, that's a fucking confession. Ken Paxton's calendar has less detail than a ransom note from a ghost. His office's defense is that the real work - the calls, the strategy, the fighting for Texas - happens in the magical, invisible hours between racking up a $436 bill for snail meat in California. Bullshit. The only thing filling every day is the sucking sound of $1.9 million in taxpayer money getting vacuumed into his security detail's travel budget for his personal wine-tasting tour.
Let's talk about the fucking gall. This prick built his whole brand on hating California, on the "Don't California My Texas" bullshit. Then he turns around and takes 25 trips there, costing Texans $180,000, and has the balls to go on a podcast and sigh, "I don't like to admit that I go to California. But it's beautiful." No shit it's beautiful, you hypocritical asshole, especially when you're not paying for it! Five trips to wine country. A $14,000 weekend where the state paid for his French brasserie feast. This isn't public service; it's a fucking dine-and-dash on a continental scale.
And the cost? It skyrocketed from $30,000 to nearly $400,000 for his bodyguards' travel as he got more famous for being a corrupt, impeached, scandal-ridden dickhead. He cleared his calendar to announce a Senate run on Fox News, then immediately booked a hotel in Augusta for the Masters, sticking taxpayers with a $25,000 golf trip. His former deputy told impeachment investigators the truth: "He was gone a lot, he was traveling, he was out." Out. As in, not doing his goddamn job.
His office says he needs the security because of threats from his "courageous work." What courage? The courage to settle felony charges? The courage to get impeached by his own party? The courage to have 112 blank days in 2024 alone? The only pressing issue his schedule is built to respond to is his pressing need for a fucking vacation. He's a grifter in a suit, a tourist with a badge, and his calendar is the perfect evidence: two years of empty squares that cost the people of Texas a fortune. He's not working for Texans; he's working them over.
