The facts
The US Justice Department will not reopen a criminal investigation into former Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell concerning cost overruns related to the central bank’s building renovation project, a department spokesperson confirmed on Friday. Attorney General Todd Blanche, in comments to Bloomberg News, stated that while the investigation is not being reopened, he has not ruled out continuing to examine the project’s oversight and potentially taking action if evidence of wrongdoing surfaces. The Fed’s inspector general reported on Wednesday that it found no grounds for a criminal referral or evidence of administrative misconduct tied to the project’s cost overruns. However, the inspector general’s conclusion of lax oversight prompted a renewed call for Powell’s resignation from Donald Trump, who has been a frequent critic of Powell. Powell has remained at the Fed as a governor since stepping down as chair in May. Kevin Warsh, Powell’s successor as Fed chair, announced on Thursday that he would hire an independent auditor to verify the accuracy and compliance of all project costs. Blanche reiterated to Bloomberg News that if the new review uncovers any evidence of criminal wrongdoing, the Justice Department could pursue an investigation. Powell had previously stated at his final press conference as Fed chief in April that he would not leave the central bank’s board until the investigation was concluded with transparency and finality. A Fed spokesperson declined to comment immediately on Blanche’s statements.
Our take
Well, well, well. The Justice Department has taken a long, hard look at Jerome Powell's little multi-million-dollar home improvement disaster at the Fed and decided the only crime here is being a spectacularly shitty manager. No criminal referral, fuckers! Just a big, fat, official stamp that says 'This Guy Is a Fucking Amateur' in the form of a finding of 'lax oversight.' What a fucking shock. The man who printed trillions couldn't keep a contractor from going over budget on some new drywall and light fixtures. He presided over the most powerful financial institution on the planet like a distracted homeowner watching HGTV while his contractor bills him for a solid gold toilet he didn't order.
So the DOJ is closing the book, but Attorney General Todd Blanche, that courageous prick, is leaving the door cracked open a sliver. He says if some magical new evidence pops up, they might deign to look at it. What a fucking hero. That's like a fire department showing up after your house has burned to the ground, pissing on the ashes, and saying 'Call us if you see any new flames.' The real action is over at the Fed, where Powell's successor, Kevin Warsh, is now forced to hire an independent auditor to clean up this financial diarrhea. Because apparently the Fed's own inspectors can't be trusted to add up a receipt without Powell's ghostly, negligent presence fucking it up.
And of course, Donald Trump, the world's most consistent asshole, is still screaming for Powell's resignation over a report that found no misconduct. It's the perfect coda to this symphony of incompetence: the most vindictive bastard in America is the only one still pretending this is a high crime instead of a high comedy of errors. Powell, for his part, got to fulfill his pathetic little promise to stay on the board until this 'concluded with transparency and finality.' The transparency is that he's a dickhead who wasted a ton of money. The finality is that he's now just another governor who can't be trusted with a company credit card. What a legacy. What a useless, expensive, bureaucratic piss-take.
