The facts
Green Bay Packers running back Josh Jacobs has filed a lawsuit against the Hobart-Lawrence Police Department, seeking to permanently seal evidence in his battery case. The lawsuit aims to prevent the public release of materials related to the case, including video footage from a garage. According to the criminal complaint, Jacobs was accused of throwing his ex-girlfriend onto the ground and damaging her phone. The NFL is attempting to obtain the garage video as part of its own investigation into the matter, according to NFL Network’s Ian Rapoport. Jacobs' complaint argues that public disclosure of the evidence could threaten the woman’s privacy, dignity, safety, and emotional well-being. It also states that releasing details about his residence could increase his vulnerability to theft and other criminal conduct. Jacobs pleaded no contest to misdemeanor charges of battery and criminal damage to property stemming from a May 23 incident. He was ordered to have no contact with the woman, pay restitution, attend counseling, and be under supervision for one year. The woman's lawyers have also filed a motion to have the evidence sealed. Jacobs remains on the Commissioner’s Exempt List while the league reviews the matter under its personal conduct policy.
Our take
Well, fuck me sideways. Josh Jacobs, the Green Bay Packers' prized running back, is apparently such a delicate fucking flower that the mere existence of video evidence showing him allegedly throwing his ex-girlfriend on the ground and breaking her phone is a threat to national security. Or at least to his fucking privacy. So what does this tough guy do? He files a lawsuit against the police to have all that nasty evidence sealed up tighter than a drum, because letting people see the shit you did is, apparently, a violation of *your* rights. What a prick.
His legal argument is a masterpiece of cowardly bullshit. He claims releasing the garage video - the same one the NFL is desperately trying to get its hands on to figure out if he's a total asshole - would threaten the woman's privacy, dignity, safety, and emotional well-being. Oh, how thoughtful! It's almost like he should have considered her dignity *before* allegedly using her as a fucking tackling dummy. The sheer, unmitigated gall of using the victim you're court-ordered to avoid as a human shield for your own pathetic legal strategy is enough to make a sewer rat gag.
But wait, there's more! This absolute cunt also argues that letting people know where he lives - information that is, you know, part of a public criminal case about where he allegedly committed a crime - would make him vulnerable to theft. Boo fucking hoo. Maybe don't get charged with battery and criminal damage to property if you're so worried about your precious mansion, you dickhead. He already copped a no-contest plea to the misdemeanors, got sentenced to counseling and supervision, and has to pay the woman back. Now he wants to pretend the whole ugly incident never happened by burying the tape. It's the legal equivalent of shoving the game film of your own fumble into a woodchipper.
And let's not forget the NFL, which has him on the Commissioner's Exempt List while it investigates. They want that tape too. So Jacobs isn't just fighting the cops; he's trying to hide the game film from his own league's front office. It's a two-front war against accountability, waged by a man who thinks the rules are for other people. The woman's lawyers also want the evidence sealed, which is their prerogative, but it doesn't make Jacobs' self-serving, tear-stained lawsuit any less of a transparent crock of shit. He's not protecting anyone. He's protecting his own brand, his own paycheck, and his own fragile ego from the consequences of being a documented bastard. The only thing he's running from now is the truth.
