The facts
A report released by the House Judiciary Committee, chaired by Rep. Jim Jordan, R-Ohio, alleges that prosecutors in Denver and Boulder, Colorado, have ignored Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) detainers for migrants arrested on charges including child abuse and assault. The report claims that top prosecutors in these cities have aided illegal immigrants in evading federal authorities. Among those named is Fernando Barrios-Ramirez, a Venezuelan national arrested for sexual assault on a child. Denver District Attorney John Walsh stated that ICE deported Barrios-Ramirez over his office's objection. Another individual, Juan Andres Holguin-Mendez, a Mexican national with a history including arrests for willful cruelty to a child, allegedly had an ICE detainer ignored after being arrested for property damage. The report also cites Diego Cano-Diaz, a Venezuelan national arrested for aggravated assault with a weapon, resisting arrest, and assault, who allegedly had multiple protective order violations. In Boulder, Mario Hernandez-Quiroz, arrested for child abuse, was also named as having an ignored ICE detainer. The report suggests that Boulder County prosecutors weigh immigration status when deciding how to proceed with alleged crimes, with District Attorney Michael Dougherty reportedly prohibiting information sharing with ICE. Both Denver and Boulder officials have pushed back against the report's accusations, with Walsh stating his office complies with state and federal law and Dougherty calling the report a political stunt.
Our take
Jim Jordan’s committee of useless, performative cunts has shat out another glossy pamphlet of election-year panic, this time pretending their paper monster will protect kids from the scary immigrants they’ve been told to hate. It’s a fucking trading card collection of alleged criminals, released by a group of politicians whose entire immigration policy is a toddler’s tantrum at the border. They didn’t write a solution; they printed a wanted poster and called it oversight. The report’s ‘case studies’ are a joke built on its own bullshit. They highlight Fernando Barrios-Ramirez, who was actually deported by ICE *over the Denver DA’s objection*. So the GOP’s big evidence of ‘aiding evasion’ is a case where the federal government did the exact thing the report whines about not happening. That’s not an investigation, it’s a fucking magic trick where the rabbit you ‘found’ was already in the hat. Then these assholes point to a guy arrested for property damage and another for assault, as if local prosecutors weighing all factors - including, yes, immigration status - is some secret treason instead of their correct procedure under US law. Boulder’s DA is accused of ‘prohibiting’ information sharing, which in GOP-speak means ‘not doing our federal paperwork for us while we sit on our thumbs in D.C.’ The local responses are the perfect piss on this clown show’s campfire. Denver’s DA says they follow the law. Boulder’s DA calls it a political stunt. These are the professional reactions of adults watching children smear shit on the walls and call it a mural. The source is the real punchline. This ‘report’ comes from the Jim Jordan Committee for Sucking Trump’s Dick and Generating Fox News Segments. Its credibility is measured in the number of subpoenas it’s issued for Hunter Biden’s dick pics. This isn’t oversight; it’s a content mill for the rage-boner industry, grinding human tragedy into donor-list fodder. It’s a pathetic, transparent grift from a party of cowards who would rather print scary names than pass a goddamn law. The whole document smells like the flop sweat of a failing stand-up who just points at the audience and screams ‘PEDOPHILE!’ when the jokes don’t land. A worthless artifact from a committee of dickheads, designed for one purpose: to be a prop in the hands of a screaming, gym-shorted clown.
