The facts
Iran's Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps claimed on Sunday, September 27, that it had captured a second U.S. underwater drone in the Strait of Hormuz, Al Jazeera reported. IRGC spokesman Brigadier General Hossein Mohebbi wrote on X that the strait "is not only not open; it is a hunting ground for the IRGC navy for American underwater vessels," adding: "The second catch has been reeled in, this time the Mk 18 Mod 2 Kingfish."
Mohebbi called it an advanced autonomous drone fitted with sonar and precision navigation, worth several million dollars, and "a technological and intelligence prize." He attached a picture that had circulated earlier labeling the vessel a REMUS 600. The IRGC Navy said its specialists were extracting the drone's data.
The U.S. military told Al Jazeera it maintains "positive control" of all of its drone assets and called Iran's claim "clearly desperate." Al Jazeera's report does not include independent confirmation of either account. A senior Iranian general said "the war is not over, we have won, but we must consolidate this victory," and warned that the Strait of Hormuz will stay closed until U.S. economic warfare ends.
Our take
The Revolutionary Guards have found a new hobby, and it's bass fishing. According to their spokesman, the Strait of Hormuz is now a "hunting ground," the "second catch has been reeled in," and the trophy is a U.S. drone the Navy, in an act of cosmic bad luck, named the Kingfish. No Pentagon naming committee has ever set up a punchline this clean for the enemy.
Then the brag outgrows the fish. The spokesman calls it a "technological and intelligence prize" worth millions and says specialists are pulling its data. The evidence posted, per Al Jazeera, is a picture that was already circulating, with a label on it. That's the classic bullshit angler move: grainy photo, confident caption, no fish on the dock.
Washington's answer is peak military boredom. "Positive control" of all drones. Iran's claim is "clearly desperate." Which is exactly what your buddy says when he definitely did not lose his phone, while patting every pocket he owns.
Under the jokes, the strait is still shut, and an Iranian general says it stays shut until U.S. economic pressure ends. He also announced "the war is not over, we have won," which is a hell of a thing to say in one sentence. You don't usually have to declare victory and extend the war at the same press conference.
Nobody who actually won is still standing at the dock, waving a picture of the fish.
