The facts
Fifa president Gianni Infantino stated he has the backing of the "vast, vast majority" of world football, laughing off questions about resignation following the controversial Fifa Forward Enterprise (FFE) proposal. Two months prior, Infantino faced calls to resign after Uefa, the Asian Football Confederation, and Concacaf accused him of breaking trust. Uefa demanded Fifa release FFE documents by November 2, citing unanswered questions. Infantino, who scrapped FFE within days, has since traveled globally, securing endorsements from the Asian Football Confederation and all African countries. He apologized to the Fifa Council for communication issues regarding FFE, though Council members questioned his fitness for the presidency if documents were withheld. Infantino stated that releasing documents must follow a "legal process." He acknowledged that Fifa has done "some things which are maybe less good" and needs more dialogue with Uefa. Infantino, who has led Fifa since 2016, is seeking a fourth term in an election next March, with no other candidates having yet filed.
Our take
Gianni Infantino, the human Swiss bank account with a haircut, has decided the best way to handle being accused of breaking trust, hiding documents, and floating a sketchy-as-fuck money scheme is to just laugh and say everyone loves him. The vast, vast majority of world football, he claims, is on his side. Presumably this majority includes the mirror he talks to every morning and the sycophants he’s been globe-trotting to collect like Pokémon cards, because actual football federations like Uefa are currently drafting ‘fuck you’ letters in triplicate. They asked for documents. He said there’s a ‘legal process.’ That’s cunt-speak for ‘the shredder is warming up.’ He apologized for ‘communication issues.’ Right. The issue was he communicated a grift, got caught, and now has to communicate a bunch of bullshit to cover his ass. He admits Fifa has done ‘some things which are maybe less good.’ That’s like a arsonist admitting the building is ‘maybe less intact.’ This prick scrapped his own FFE proposal within days of getting heat, which is the administrative equivalent of shitting your pants and then claiming you meant to do a warm-up lap. Now he’s touring the globe, collecting endorsements from continents where the primary export is corrupt football officials, and positioning himself for a fourth term because no other dickhead has filed yet. His entire presidency is a masterclass in being a smug, untouchable bastard. He’s not a leader; he’s a liability with a tie. The only ‘vast majority’ he has is the vast majority of people who think he’s a venal, self-serving clown. But hey, he’s sorry you don’t understand the ‘legal process’ of him being a gigantic piece of shit. Case closed. Now fuck off and let him get back to counting his money and his yes-men.”
