The facts
US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) stated that an officer crashed a vehicle into a Houston construction worker, Miguel Parra Hernandez, 48, of Mexico, while pursuing a suspect identified as Jose Mendoza-Cervantes. However, the family of a man who died years ago in similar circumstances claims the ICE officer was targeting their deceased relative, Jose Hector Jimenez. FIEL, a Houston-based immigration advocacy group, stated that the family of the deceased man provided documentation proving his death, including a death certificate from the Mexican government. Rafael Lemaitre, spokesperson for the Harris county district attorney’s office, told the Associated Press that Mendoza-Cervantes was not in the vehicle. Surveillance footage reviewed by Harris county district attorney Sean Teare appears to contradict ICE's claim that Parra Hernandez stepped in front of the vehicle. The video shows a black SUV speeding toward a man who is running away, with the SUV inches from the fleeing man before he is seen on the ground. US House member Sylvia Garcia stated that ICE appears to be lying about the incident, raising questions about how operations are conducted and whether agents verify targets before endangering lives. Parra Hernandez remains hospitalized with multiple leg fractures and requires reconstructive ankle surgery. His attorney stated he is suffering from depression in federal custody after learning he was not the target.
Our take
What the absolute fuck is the hiring process at ICE? Do they just hand a badge and a government SUV to any mouth-breathing asshole who can point a finger and say 'that one'? Because that's the only explanation for this spectacular shitshow. A federal officer, whose entire fucking job description presumably involves verifying a target's identity and, oh I don't know, checking if they're still among the living, decided the best course of action was to slam his vehicle into a 48-year-old construction worker named Miguel Parra Hernandez. The reason? He thought the guy was 'Jose Mendoza-Cervantes.' Except, hold onto your dickheads, the family of a completely different man, Jose Hector Jimenez, says the agent was actually gunning for their dead relative. That's right. This towering intellect in a bulletproof vest was chasing a fucking ghost. A man with a death certificate from the Mexican government, which the family provided. Did this agent get his target packet from a medium at a séance? 'The spirits say he's near the drywall.' It's not just wrong; it's necromantically incompetent.
Then these lying bastards have the unmitigated gall to spin a fairy tale that Parra Hernandez 'stepped in front of the vehicle.' Eat a bag of shit. Surveillance footage reviewed by the district attorney shows a black SUV speeding toward a man running away, getting inches from him before he's on the ground. That's not an accident; that's attempted vehicular fucking manslaughter. The spokesperson for the DA's office flatly states Mendoza-Cervantes wasn't even in the vehicle. So let's recap this masterpiece: ICE missed the guy they wrongly thought was the suspect, who also wasn't the suspect because the real suspect they were maybe after is a corpse, and instead they successfully smashed into an innocent bystander. It's a three-layer cake of failure, iced with shattered bones and topped with a flagrant lie.
Now the victim, who did nothing but go to work, is hospitalized with multiple leg fractures and needs reconstructive ankle surgery. His lawyer says he's sinking into depression in federal custody after learning he wasn't the target. His life is in ruins because some government-funded prick behind the wheel confused a living, breathing human with a dead man. US House member Sylvia Garcia says ICE 'appears to be lying.' No shit, Sherlock. The video is the lie, the death certificate is the lie, and the compound fractures are the screaming, agonizing proof of the lie. This isn't law enforcement; it's a gang of reckless cowboys playing a game of 'guess who' with a two-ton weapon. Their operational protocol seems to be: see brown person, floor it, make up story later. How many more lives have to be pulverized before we admit this agency is just a convoy of overpaid, under-supervised dickheads careening through cities, leaving a trail of broken bodies and bullshit statements? They're not protecting the homeland; they're terrorizing it with the investigative skills of a drunk raccoon. Absolute fucking cunts.
