The facts
Republicans are entering the final month of the midterm campaign with anxiety that their $1 billion in available funds may not be enough to prevent significant losses. This concern stems from President Donald Trump's unpopularity, ongoing cost issues, and the repercussions of the war in Iran. The substantial cash advantage, distributed among several groups, is largely fueled by MAGA Inc., which had nearly $416 million on hand by the end of August and increased its spending in September. However, this late surge in spending has led to higher advertising rates, with some Republican Senate campaign officials noting that groups reserving ad time in the spring paid considerably lower rates. MAGA Inc. and affiliated groups are reportedly paying more than five times what they would have if they had acted earlier. A representative for MAGA Inc. stated that their spending has helped keep races more competitive. The challenge is particularly acute in Texas, where MAGA Inc. has spent over $22 million in the past month. Another aligned group, Texas PAC, has spent more than $83 million on advertising. This late infusion of super PAC money comes at a steep price, with MAGA Inc. paying roughly $894 per ad airing compared to about $290 for Democratic nominee James Talarico's campaign. Some Republicans acknowledge the difficulty of trying to spend their way out of a tough campaign at this late stage, with one pollster suggesting that $1 million in October advertising is a 'drop in the bucket.' The midterms are also notable as the first national election since the Supreme Court removed limits on coordinated spending between political parties and candidates.
Our take
Look at these absolute cunts. The Republican Party is sitting on a billion-dollar pile of donor cash and the strategic brainpower of a baked potato. They had all year to spend it, but they waited until the final month to panic-buy ad time, and now they’re getting financially ass-raped, paying over five times the spring rate. This isn't politics; it's the world's most expensive episode of *Hoarders*, where the hoard is money and the mental illness is Trump worship.
The flagship of this failure is MAGA Inc., which managed to turn $416 million into a masterclass in being a dumbfuck. Their big-brain move? Spend $894 per ad airing while the Democrat they're trying to beat pays $290. A MAGA Inc. rep actually claimed this hemorrhaging of cash is 'helping keep races competitive.' No, you greedy pricks, you're just proving that your donors are marks and your strategists are clowns. You're not buying ads; you're paying the 'I Suck At Planning' tax.
Then there's Texas, where the smell of desperation is so strong it needs its own Super PAC. They’ve dumped over a hundred million in a month - $22 million from MAGA Inc. and another $83 million from the Texas PAC - because their candidate is such a radioactive piece of shit he needs a money forcefield. One Republican pollster admitted a million dollars in October ads is a 'drop in the bucket.' Correct. It's a single, overpriced teardrop falling into the vast, salty ocean of your own piss-poor management.
The Supreme Court gave these fuckers the gift of unlimited coordinated spending, and they used it to coordinate the most spectacular, wasteful self-own in modern history. They spent the whole year gargling Trump's balls while he became more unpopular, cost issues mounted, and a war started. Now they're trying to spend their way out of a catastrophe they fully built, like buying a lifeboat after the ship has already hit the iceberg and split in half. You can't fix stupid, but you can apparently waste a billion dollars proving it.
